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Humor and Clean Jokes

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  #901 (permalink)  
Old 09-10-2018, 02:37 AM
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I keep hearng the phrase "life is a B!TCH"

Of course it is. If it was a **** it would be easy!
 

Last edited by Franc Rauscher; 09-11-2018 at 11:04 AM.
  #902 (permalink)  
Old 09-10-2018, 10:15 AM
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I heard it as "Life is a virgin....because a b!tch is too easy".
 

Last edited by STRANDD; 09-10-2018 at 10:17 AM. Reason: i got censored for a word someone else used
  #903 (permalink)  
Old 09-11-2018, 09:13 AM
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I'm guessing this "sporty" model doesn't have a cup holder either.
Jet Fuel ing ....Attached Images
 
  #904 (permalink)  
Old 09-11-2018, 04:01 PM
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On this day in History,,,,,,,
 
  #905 (permalink)  
Old 09-11-2018, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by onehundred80

He must have aged badly as he was born in 1943.
He is 75.
If Radar O'Reily was born in 1943, he would have been far to young to be in Korea in 1952,-'53.
The photo is of Radar O'Reilly, the character, not Gary Burghoff.
 
  #906 (permalink)  
Old 09-11-2018, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Franc Rauscher
If Radar O'Reily was born in 1943, he would have been far to young to be in Korea in 1952,-'53.
The photo is of Radar O'Reilly, the character, not Gary Burghoff.
I think you missed the post that resulted in my posts content,
Your statement would be like saying that Elizabeth Taylor was to young to have been in the Egypt at the time of Cleopatra. Take of that Batman outfit and put it back in the closet.
 
  #907 (permalink)  
Old 09-12-2018, 10:36 AM
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Originally Posted by onehundred80

I think you missed the post that resulted in my posts content,
Your statement would be like saying that Elizabeth Taylor was to young to have been in the Egypt at the time of Cleopatra. Take of that Batman outfit and put it back in the closet.
You seem to have actors playing parts confused with real people. Radar O'Reilly the character on M*A*S*H supposedly went back to Ottumwa IA for a civilian life of kids and grandkids. Berghoff the actor was a different person who never seriously acted again after the series closed. The sign on the highway was of Radar..THE CHARACTER.
Your love of picking nits is legendary. Keep up the good work!
 
  #908 (permalink)  
Old 09-13-2018, 11:02 AM
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All the instruments . .
 
  #909 (permalink)  
Old 09-17-2018, 10:22 AM
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  #910 (permalink)  
Old 09-18-2018, 09:39 AM
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Walking can add minutes to you life. Walk a mile or so everyday. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5,000.00 a month of your offspring's inheritance.

My grand dad started walking five miles a day. And now we have no idea where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

One reason I would take up walking is so that I could, once again, hear heavy breathing.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain awakens and figures out what it is I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year. It cost about six hundred dollars a year. So far, I haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to go there.

Every time I hear or use the word exercise, it's like a profanity. So I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I believe the only advantage to daily exercise is that when you drop dead of a heart attack, everyone says "well, he sure looks good!"

Some advice for the over eager,,,; If you decide to take up cross country skiing, start with a small country.

Frankly, I've been getting a lot of exercise in the last few years just getting over the hill.

Listen, no matter what we do, we all get heavier as we age. It's because of all the useless knowledge packed in our heads over time.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
 
  #911 (permalink)  
Old 09-19-2018, 02:54 PM
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...
 
  #912 (permalink)  
Old 09-24-2018, 10:24 AM
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  #913 (permalink)  
Old 09-25-2018, 03:21 PM
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  #914 (permalink)  
Old 09-26-2018, 04:44 PM
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Nurses,,; gotta love 'em!
 
  #915 (permalink)  
Old 09-28-2018, 05:56 PM
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  #916 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2018, 10:39 AM
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How to tell if a woman is mad at you ...Attached Images
 
  #917 (permalink)  
Old 10-07-2018, 05:40 PM
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My wife asked me what I was doing today... I told her "nothing."

She said sarcastically, "that's what you did yesterday. Shouldn't you do something else?"

I told her "yeah, probably but,,,I wasn't finished."
 
  #918 (permalink)  
Old 10-11-2018, 02:54 PM
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Cute!!!
 
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Old 10-17-2018, 04:52 PM
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  #920 (permalink)  
Old 10-26-2018, 02:56 PM
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Warning ...
 


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