Kinda blew mothers day by trying to squeeze in my rear view camera installation while juggling mothers day. last night I got the "do you love that car more than me?" Seriously this isnt some joking macho guy thread. This car is consuming me.

She is concerned because Im getting stink eye from the boss at work cause Ive always got some mod going on, even though I do said mods on my breaks . Other factors were brought up about the amount of attention I spend on it; Im sure she noticed the $$$ going out the door too but didnt bring that up.

lastly she lovengly mentioned that she doesnt want to see the car take the place of God in my life. She made a good point because Im really not putting my life in line with Him so much anymore because Im so into this car.

Has anyone else honestly found their love for this car getting in the way of a normal life? If so... how did you go about fixing the situation.

Please no joking or funny post, this is really a serious matter to me.

Pooly

 

ok, I'll man-up. I'm having the same exact problem. My time, attention and money, it all goes to her. By "her", I mean the car. It's funny that you just posted this because I just posted "her" for sale, here and on craigslist. I can't take the sleep I lose checking on her, time lost looking for the "right" parking spot, looking for new parts and mods and the money faucet that drips even when I swear I've closed it tightly.

Just dropped price to $8500 to sell it this week.... Before I get nailed speeding or buy the nitrous.

93000 mile, real nice condition, love of my life. Baltimore craigslist under "barter" and "Used cars".

 

Try involving her more into care and upkeep of Nina?

just a thought...worked for me!

 

Haven't had that problem since I was dating a teenager,,,,,,strike that,Since I was a teenager dating.

MY fiance's father was an American Motors dealer. AMX baby; Marlin's yeah! And she gave me that line.

OMG!

It is a tough call because men are simple minded and women are complicated.
Men= Cars, Beer< *****= we are happy.
Women= So, the man is happy huh?= Ahem! It's complicated

There is no sure fire advice Green. Best thing you can do is, when there is a conflict between her and the car, go for the wife. Just don't make her think it ws a tough choice.
(I presume in this case it is Christian to lie a little)

It is cheaper to keep her. And if you lose her, trust me, you will lose the car. Even if she doesn't take it in the divorce, you will lose interest in it.

'Cause life without them ain't much fun.

One can always get another car. But another soul mate......Not so much.


roadster with a stick

BTW, the Pretty blonde fiance' with the Car dealer father....she got fat!

 

I have been known to be obsessive about inanimate objects (to old for animate ones!). I usually have in my minds eye what my car, boat, motorcycle, etc should be. I tend to be O/C (that's obsessive/compulisve for the slower guys out there) until I reach that point. But then I sit back and enjoy what ever it is I have elevated to perfection.

I'm doing that with a motorcycle right now but I am almost there - and broke! Funny how they coincide

 

Great thread! Your not alone my friend. Truth is I have heard the same thing for 23 years. what has helped me in the last year and has kept peace and HER out of the garage was when I bought my youngest son a X-Fire. When I order something for my car I also get something for his. When the mail is delievered and its a car related item, as soon as I tell her its something for both our cars she says nothing. I also think and have for years felt that a good hobby or intrest keeps a person out of trouble. Hey, It keeps me at home on the rare ocasion I'm not working. If this makes you feel better and not alone, I was working a side job yesterday that I was able to take my Crossfire to. I sent Boni a text after I waxed my car (again) " I can't keep from staring at my car"

The other point you made had to do with your time spent with the car and not with God. I would argue that if the time spent on your car prevented you from being a good provider for your family, or if you were consistantly missing time in church attending car shows or deciding to wax the car instead of attending church with the family and that these changes had in fact taken place since the Crossfire came into your life, and this was causing issues at home, a change might need to take place.

I also feel that the Good Lord looks down on all of us as his children. and just like we find pleasure and enjoyment in watching our own children participate in sports, plays, model building, playing a musical instrument, whose to say that God does not find all the creativity that WE do with what he has blessed us with just as entertaining for HIM. Regardless of what it is. Something to think about....

 

I would agree John. Very nice piece.

I agree most particularly witht he approach of creativity to God. I believe not putting your talent to work, and GreenGhost certainly has a talent here, is a waste of the gifts given.

Not all worship is in church. Do we not marvel at God's work during a sunset? A bird in flight? A babbling brook?

Not all creativety is in a scupture. Would He not find pleasure in our simple act of gardening? Caring for a pet? Clearing a stream?

We do not worship these things, we care for them. That would seem right by the father's words to us.
roadster with a stick

 

Nicely said John. very wise, and yours too Franc.

I'm with you guys on this, I think I mentioned the beginnings of that just a bit ago. The car can never take your wife's place unless you let it. Going out with her Saturday nite-nope, gotta put pin stripes on the car. MIL's place on Sunday-nope gotta shine the rims.

Point is everything is about balance. Work, love, spirituality, community and self. Too big of anyone in particular is out of balance and where problems start snowballing. The hobby for self is great, unless you're depriving your self of enjoying other things in life, or with those you love. Work is great, and absolute dedication to that one aspect is unfortunately rewarded in this culture, but that's a false premise, and would cause most else in your life to be out of balance.

Life is the road we travel, and consider all these aspects to be the wheels that carry us on that road. If what is mounted is not balanced then that ride will be one of shimmy and shake and eventually leading to bone jarring. My take on the matter.

This car is a beautiful thing, but it still is just a thing. My wife knows I derive enormous pleasure and personal gratification for having been lucky enough to own one in my life. She's happy for me in that regard. But she also knows that I can tend to be compulsive and she'll reign me in with little things to think about and eventually I get there too. Mark

 

Well said Franc, you brought up some great points, all of which a carpenter would relate to.

 

Mc Daniels4, I just read you response as well The analogy reguarding tire and wheel needing to be balanced was great. I am going to use that if you don't mind.

 

As I don't share your conviction, long story, I put the family first and the job second and the car comes on the heals of the other things. Perhaps why I don't do a lot of mods.

There is no joke here, but as wildernesspeet said something about manning up I can only say to you my friend, man up. The car is a wonderful thing no doubt, but you have your convictions and your wife and family should be right up their with your religious ones. Set aside your thoughts about the car for a while and focus your thoughts and actions on your beliefs, your family and the ever important job that gives you the money needed to treat them all right.

Call it tough love, but I really want to go the rest of the week seeing that you haven't logged in to the site! Don't make me have to call you!!

 

My pleasure that you can find this useful, John. Have at it! LOL! Mark

 

You guys are chicken soup for the crossfire owner I had some reservations about posting this after I got to work but the friendship of this forum has once again provided comfort and helpful info.

You all make good points and I will heed the advice...But Eric...one week cold turkey will be hard

Ive got several purchases on the way that Im really looking forward to. I think I will just simply put them in a corner of the garage and leave it be while being more involved around the house and her.

thanks everyone

Curtis

 

Good move Curtis. Doing that will add quite a bit to that emotional and relationship savings bank account of which you'll be able to draw offof later.

 

Cars don't talk back to you, then again, they don't make you a sandwich either.

 

I am with Max on this, I have involved Molly in this new car since the beginning, getting her opinion on every part, finish, and color on the car. She felt like the black was one not 'hers' since I had modded it before we got together, but this one is 'ours'. She may not admit it very freely, but she enjoys the attention it draws and LOVES detailing the mods to on-lookers at shows. It was a pre-req that she must like cars, not love them, but at least like - now, several years later, she loves going to cruises and showing off the baby. Since she was involved with everything, she can speak intelligently to any 'car-guy' about 'our' car. Does she want to be around cars all the time - no, but she puts up with a lot more when she is enjoying herself.

I have been working on the car a lot lately, and still plenty more to do, but for the next few days, the parts will sit in boxes in the garage while Molly and I enjoy each others company doing some fun things and house projects (building a fire pit this weekend). When I can let things sit a few days after they arrive, she realizes I have some small amount of self control and would rather be with her - truth is, I am most at peace with her by my side cruising along knowing we are both happy and blessed. If there were no XF, I would still be happy and blessed, just no permagrin

Good luck, Ghost, I think you just need to try to balance it more. And if you think your boss is giving you the stink eye, he is probably thinking much worse in his head about your productivity. Maybe lay off the XF modding AT WORK for a few weeks, bust your ***, and get in his good graces. Once you get there, a little modding in the off time is no problem, but if he cans you for thinking you have spent too much time on your own projects, you will be really up the creek - and once you explain to the wife why you got let go, you better hope you can fit in the hatch of the XF, because you will need somewhere to sleep

 

Well from a woman's perspective, my sister believes that I am obsessed with my Crossfire, 1... cause I park it at the end of the parking lots (the walk does me good!!!) 2... cause I wash it all the time.... 2 ... cause I clean it out all the time and wipe down the interior.... 3... because I'm in a car club. Sooooo maybe I am a little in love with the car.... it gets a lot of attention.

Let the wife take it out by herself, she will appreciate the attention as do you!

Just saying.... we all love attention, including our cars.

Deb "Corky"

 

that's a good idea, shes only driven it twice in 3 years....shes not such a good driver. But I think its time to open up the can of enjoyment for her

 

well, after 30 yrs of marriage, and been under the hood the whole time...I can tell you, they don't like it, but it was who I was when she decided to say yes. I won't change, and neither will she...so, the relationship has lasted, without all the "I'm a great provider" crap....She's will put her foot down from time to time on the parts, but, hey, she has her expensive habits too, and she get's the "bling" when she wants it...so it is a two way street in a relationship. I try to keep God in my life...and God is present at my car shows and at the drag strip. Many christians take part in these activites as well. Never let your hobby take away from paying the bills, taking care of the family things. These cars came along after sending 3 kids thru college. I gave up a vette for that...lol...but family should come first...you can have it both ways if you work it right...and I have found, my second job is for the toys, the first is for the family...you have to work to play today, unless you are born rich, or hit the lottery...I am neither...but, I am who I am...she's knows that, and I love her for it...and I know that look when I push it too far...