How about daily cleaning....how is that for being certifiable? Being in SoCal (the land of little to no rain) I use a California Duster (of course) TW Ice detailer (daily) and Meguiar's NXT once a week. I have had my SRT since January and it has had water on it once.
As for the wheels, the fronts are wiped down almost every day. The rears once a week.
I use a disposable wipe called "Wheel Wipes" and disposable latex gloves. One wipe per wheel and then a buff with my wheel rag (use it until it gets totally black then toss it). The Wheel Wipes are gentle to the wheel finish. I had tried another wipe on my old BMW Z4 and it did harm the finish, not so the Wheel Wipes. The best thing is that they come 40 in a container and are sold at the 99 cents Only chain out here. I buy 10 containers at a time and it costs a whopping $9.90 for 400 wipes.
They keep the wheels looking new!