Stay away from dishwashing soap as it will, over time, dry out the paint and all the rubber and plastic trim. As for the laundry detergent recommendation...do not EVER take advice of any kind from whomever recommended that to you - they have no freakin' clue what they're talking about.

Since you have fairly hard water I would recommend Meguiar's NXT Shampoo as it has some water conditioners in it and will help with that situation, plus it's available at any decent auto parts store. As for an off the shelf wax you can find anywhere, I'd go with either Meguiar's NXT Tech Wax or Meguiar's Gold Class Wax. You may find a bit deeper shine with the Gold Class and it may hide very fine swirls a bit more. I also highly recommend Meguiar's new Ultimate Quick Detailer. This is the stuff in the black bottle, not the burgundy bottle. Use it between washes to remove very light dust and fingerprints, but not anything worse than that. It will leave a super slick finish and it sheds water like a duck. Amazing stuff. But keep in mind it is NOT a substitute for a proper wax job.

Finally, I highly recommend you check out the Meguiar's detailing forum at meguiarsonline.com (you'll find me there using the same name as here). Be warned though...regular reading there will get you hooked on detailing and you will step up to Meguiar's Professional Line rather quickly. This will take your finish to a whole new level!!!