Thanks for all of the suggestions, everyone. I had actually read that one thread about water damage while awaiting the flatbed. Once I was able to get the rear hatch open, I looked for any sign of water damage and couldn't see any.

The suggestion about the gyro-sensor being disrupted by the repo from the original owner is interesting, especially considering that I suspect the anti-towing system as the culprit.

As an interesting side-note; one of my co-workers has this same issue occur with his 2008 Infinti FX-35 in this same parking lot, just a few months ago. It too was taken out on a flatbed and had the alarm module replaced. The lot was completely ripped up, regraded and repaved about 6 months ago, so I doubt its anything to do with the actual lot, just an odd coincidence.

I'll update you with any progress and, hopefully, a fix from the dealer.