You know, I was thinking about this guy. If the picnic table was over 18 and the act was concentual, and he wore a condum to prevent splinters, I don't know what all the fuss is about. Maybe it's because his wife and her bridge club were trying to use the picnic table at the same time.

It could also be that his wife kept nagging him to put the umbrella in the table until he got fed up, grabbed his crotch, and said " I'VE GOT YOUR UMBRELLA RIGHT HERE" and that's how the trouble started.

You notice that Fox News didn't say " film at 11:00"