This keeps getting better, I read in the paper yesterday that this guy made the Letterman's top 10 list on April 3rd. of this year. Here it is. I like # 5

Letterman’s Top 10 Excuses Of The Man Caught Having Sex With A Picnic Table.



10. I got all worked up looking at the AKEA catalog.

9. C’mon did you see that picnic table?

8. I was refinishing it and things got out of hand.

7. I just broke up with the pool table and didn’t want to be alone.

6. If your going to arrest every man who had sex with a picnic table, your going to have to build a hell of a lot more prisons.

5. I was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife - hiyooo!

4. Hey, a man has needs !

3. My Dr. said I have Restless Nuts Syndrome.

2. It’s not like I spent $4,000. on a hooker.

1. Well, it was our anniversary.