My impressions of the Neon;

Horsepower provided by the American Miniature Pony Breeder's Association.

Drivetrain components provided by Rubber Bands Inc. Okay, I haven't driven an automatic in 20 years but this thing seems to have the same connection between the engine room and the bridge that the Titanic had, any signals sent will be answered in due time...as soon as the tea is brewed.

Suspension components provided by the White Puffy Marshmallow Company.

Door locks provided by the Politically Correct **** Company. I went to open the passenger's door for my sweetie and found that the only way you can get into the car is to open the driver's door first and then unlock all the doors with the button on the driver's door. I'm guessing there are no gentlemen in the Chrysler design department.

On to the clock;

For the first six months I owned my car the only problem I noticed was the clock gaining about a minute per day. When the weather here started to change a number of other problems became apparent and I listed the clock among them when I brought the car in for it's first service.

First the Crossfire Technician tried to fix the clock display on the radio, when that failed he ordered a new radio. He mentioned that to me and I informed him that the clock was in the tachometer, he rushed to the parts department to cancel the radio order. A while later he informed me that he had reprogrammed the clock through the radio. The clock still gained a minute a day and I listed that on the required repairs on my next three visits to the dealer. On the fourth visit I was informed that they had ordered a new instrument cluster in the hope that that clock would keep time.

After four visits to three other Chrysler dealers in which the clock was listed as one of the problems I wished they could fix I e-mailed Chrysler requesting details on how to return the car as a lemon and called the service man at the original dealer and asked him for the same.

A few days later the service man called me and said that he had the new instrument cluster and asked me to bring the car in for the replacement. When I brought up the subject of returning the car as a lemon he advised me to get a lawyer.

I dropped the car off Monday evening and got the write-me-a-ticket-red Neon as a loaner.

Tuesday I was told that the transplant was still in progress.

Wednesday I was told that the transplant had been completed and the new instrument cluster was being programmed by land line but there were problems with the land line.

Thursday I was told that the new cluster registered 1000 less miles on the odometer than it should and that they were going to take the new cluster out and put the old one back in in hopes that it would reset something and then re-install the new cluster.

Friday I was told that the new cluster had been wrongly programmed and that it was being sent back to be reprogrammed and wouldn't be back til next Wednesday. I went to the dealer (about 15 miles away) to retrieve my checkbook from the car and saw an instrument cluster (I don't know which one) part way out of the dashboard.

Chrysler's business plan must be to sell one new car to every car buyer in the US since they will never have any return business.