badseed1: You beat the odds on your rampage, but apparantly (from reading your book) you still don't get it. Admitting no regrets, you'd do it again, trying to justify yourself, etc. shows us that (yes) you are a kid. I must say though that you did explain yourself in writing quite well; except for the contradictions. I believe that all who have responded had your future in mind or they wouldn't have even bothered to add to the thread. It takes a mature person to fully admit when they are at fault. I also believe that your parents did a good job of raising you and that you are brighter than the average 18 yr. old, for sure. Knowing whether you would do the same thing over again should be an easy no brainer answer.