The cause of ALL my issues was the ABS/CAB unit. I picked up a used one ($90), put it in, and now everything is working properly with no lights or codes! The stealership wanted $1600; $1000 for the part (which they said was on national backorder with no date in sight) and $600 labor. It took me an hour to jack up the car, remove 4 wheels, replace the part, and then another hour to bleed the brakes.