...I am all for winning a free car, but please throw a wad of cash in the glove box, so I can pay the taxes on the thing, okay?

The IRS would see Chrysler giving me a Crossfire in terms of me getting 34K in additional income. They would tax it accordingly. Suddenly that "free" car costs you about $8500 in cash. That's still a hell of a deal for a Crossfire, sure, but not exactly "free".