Thread: Humor and Clean Jokes
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Old Aug 19, 2017 | 03:48 PM
  #764 (permalink)  
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dedwards0323
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Joined: Nov 2008
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From: Upstate SC
Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Perks of Being over 60:
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
  • No one expects you to run--anywhere.
  • People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  • There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
  • Things you buy now won't wear out.
  • You think humor must be good for your body, exercise and diets haven't worked well.
  • You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
  • You can live without sex but not without glasses.
  • You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
  • You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
  • You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
  • You sing along with elevator music.
  • Your eyes won't get much worse.
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
  • You know more about prescription drugs than you pharmacist
  • You can't remember who sent you this list.
  • My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
  • Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
  • It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
  • These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
 
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