I think the ghost in the machine has taken up residence in my 2007 Crossfire.

Because of hurricane Irma in Florida and then fires in California, I was forced to park my beautiful blue 2007 crossfire
roadster on one sunny day in my yard and there it sat, idle for a year or three. Finally things settled, as they
sometimes do and I found myself with a moment of solitude. I decided to dust her off and go for a leisurely drive, but
alas, it was not to be.

It all started when the RCM module manifested its ubiquitous "no-start, no-turn-over" failure.
I was aware of the soldering problems on that particular module, however in the cars long driving hiatus, squirrels had
taken up residence under the hood and I was suspicious of chewed wires. Ostensibly I was relieved that I couldn't see
any wiring damage, so I disconnected and reconnected all connections and I dutifully set about performing the RCM
soldering ritual, just in case, but to no avail.

Still expecting out-of-sight wiring problems, either from rodents, or just humid Florida style oxidation of connectors, I
walked away for another few months as I was once again engaged in multiple duties and didn't really have the time.
I reasoned that since I was without time to properly troubleshoot, for under $100 I could throw a used RCM at it, and
hope for the best. I was elated and grateful, to say the least, when the newly-acquired eBay RCM module arrived and fixed it.

Suddenly all the consternation over bad wiring or corroded connectors was alleviated. "Thank God", I
exclaimed, "I get my car back and with 20,000 or so less miles than it would have had."
But again, I may have got "the horse before the cart" (sic). For now there appears a plethora of problems that seem to be totally unrelated.

So here,finally, I get to the crux of the matter.

Right out of the gate on my first trundle with the new RCM, new problems arose.
1: The AC started out great, but slowly and gradually over just 4 or 5 minutes, it slowed down to a stop. I felt warm/hot air
wafting out of the vents. I turned it off and back on, but it stayed Hot...
After a brief sojourn at my friends, I once again embarked.
As soon as I turned the car on, the AC worked beautifully, for about 4 minutes and once again started its inevitable slow death.

OK that's bad enough, but what happened over the next couple of days is bizarre.

2: On my 4th outing and again for only 5 minutes, I stopped and turned off the car,(the AC of course succumbing to its
inexorable demise.) and while conversing with my friend, the engines electric cooling fan, suddenly came on with a
ruckus full speed roar. The car had been off and parked for a good 20 minutes prior to this new development. Ultimately
the only recourse was to disconnect the battery.

I scurried home, turned the car off & on, several times. I even tried
the "disconnected battery cable crossing/cross your heart routine", on the hopes of resetting the computer, but the
obstinate fan prevailed. As soon as you reconnect the battery, the fan takes off "***** to the wall", full bore.

OK that was bad enough, but what follows baffles me yet further.

3: I went out this morning and reconnected the battery cables, (that I now remove any time I stop her) all the while
being fully cognizant of what was about to ensue, but stood stymied to hear no fan. "Well, this can't be good." I thought.
I sat in the yard with the car idling and looked for any other manifestations of this craziness. As I sat
awaiting the inevitable AC failure and expected engine overheat, I studied the dash and listened for any clues.

While waiting for the engine to heat up enough to see if the fan would ever come on again, suddenly the airbag warning
light came on??? Soon to be followed by the Radiator indicator. "Well, at least" I thought, "something finally logical. The computer probably finally recognizes the engine fan is not working." The temperature on the gauge went to the usual half scale and stopped there steadfast. It was actually a unseasonably
cool 75 degree Florida evening, so I wasn't worried about the engine actually overheating yet. I was vigilant, but would have expected the gauge to continue to rise. It did not.

I increased the RPMs to a Rock steady 2000 RPMs and after sitting solidly at 2000 it would routinely go up to 2700
RPMs stay there for a few seconds and then go back down to 2,000 RPMS. The AC was on, so at least the cycling of the
compressor was indicative of the computer thinking it needed AC, but no ac fan still.

I considered, perhaps, the water level was down, even though the overflow reservoir was fine, or perhaps the thermostat was stuck closed.
I consulted my friend, Martin, and he thought along similar lines and said maybe air had somehow got trapped and the water flow was cavitating.
I removed the top radiator hose from the block, and some water came out. I force filled the block until the reservoir overflowed. All symptoms persist.

For all that is good and holy, what in the hell is going on?

Any help would be appreciated before I call on an Exorcist.