UPDATE

I disconnected the battery and waited a while before reconnecting it.
While reconnecting it, the car made a sparkling noise from down and behind the engine area, sort of in the direction of the transmission.

I also tried to start it and it didn't do anything on the first try, second and third try it turned over but stopped immediately before the car would've started, and then nothing on any later attempts to start.
This leads me to believe it's not the SKREEM Module or the RCM, but I don't know what it could be. I appreciate any suggestions.