First, a car wash is the worst possible thing you can do for your car's appearance, they damage the paint and break things.

If you clean the wheels yourself, warm soapy water is best for cleaning them. But then, if your car washing routine is to run your car through a car wash, why worry about scratching your wheels. The car wash will damage your paint more than the baby wipes on your rims.

May I suggest Rotex Gold brake pads? They produce about 95% less crude than the stock ones. Often I just wipe them out with a clean damp rag.