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Groundhog Guerrillas

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Old 04-29-2004, 04:12 PM
Galen Dracos's Avatar
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Default Groundhog Guerrillas

Okay, this starts off-topic but it swings back around.

Operation: Groundhog Strike

Operational Review to the department of Homestead Defense:
Assassination, Infiltration, WMD, and Suicide Attacks...


Initial Strike Mission: ****-and-Draw - Success.
Target groundhog retired. Confirmed. Assassination shot from 30 yards by a Blackhawk with Lightning Strike missiles, along the West Bank.

Counter-Offensive: The Under-road rail-ground.
The Groundhog forces regrouped to our northern lines. Engineering teams have excivated infiltration tunnels from the border's Pallasade wall, compromizing the base's base.

Allied Response: Scorched Turf.
After Recon forces failure to identify a clean target for a solid week, Allied Command authorized the use of poison gas. Reinforcements from the Double-X auxillary assisted in containment activities while our own troops launched several canisters of WMD ordinance into the tunnels and sealed the breech.

Terrorist Attacks: Suicide Diver.
Feeling the area was secured, Command began plans to turn over control of the West Bank to the indigenous habitants, when the Groundhogs unleased this most vile act of terror todate. Observers compared it to the damage wrought by the great Trans-am Squirrel Nest of Aught-One. Those effected will never be the same.

While traveling, the Allied light-interceptor, Crossfire was singled out in a convoy of vechiles heading into Human-Occupied territories. A lone Groundhog suicide attacker dove at the wheels of the moving car. Apparently, it was straped with some explosive device for the remains were barely identifable. As of yet, not Groundhog faction has stepped forward to claim responsibility for the act. Damage assessment is on-going.

When asked what the Allied response will be Allied Command responded, "Acts of terror like these cannot go unpunished. Bounties of $50 a head will be offered to Neighboring troops, and well, we will go with what we know works. Crossbows and Chemicals. The colateral damage is expected to be too high to pursue a Crossfire-based extermination campaign."

(IN ENGLISH)
Its gotta be Karma, been killing Groundhogs all year, started with a Crossbow (Horton Blackhawk 200lb) shot to writehome about, and eschillated to numerous poisonings. Then one of those SOB'ing GD'ed MF'ing SH Groundhogs jumped out in front of my tire (front Pass). Tore him to shreds. But, also tore up the top and front of the inside of the wheel well. Access Panel is completely gone (I think the Groundhog was partially impaled with it), housing cracked all over, and some minor dings and scuffs all round the inside. Nothing visible from the outside, thankfully. If it were an older car I wouldn't even car about it.
 
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Old 04-29-2004, 04:25 PM
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Got pictures? :twisted: :lol:
 
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Old 04-29-2004, 04:27 PM
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And I thought my posts were long......

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


And thank you for the English Translation. Do you work for the federal government???
 
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Old 04-29-2004, 05:30 PM
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Considering what i pay in taxes, I do. At least 3 hours a day I am working for the Fed. :cry:

Oh, and no pics. Sorry. Don't want PITA hunting me down and jumping in front of my tires, too.
 
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Old 04-29-2004, 05:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Galen Dracos
Considering what i pay in taxes, I do. At least 3 hours a day I am working for the Fed. :cry:

Oh, and no pics. Sorry. Don't want PITA hunting me down and jumping in front of my tires, too.
Why not... no, forget I said that... no, wait, yes I meant it. And poor Wes has to LIVE right in PETA's home town. :evil: :evil: :evil:
 
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Old 04-29-2004, 06:27 PM
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poor F'ing ground hogs...

but I understand the need to shoot them if you have too...

have they touched your car yet? Other then running it over... It's open season if they touch the car :twisted:
 
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Old 04-29-2004, 10:54 PM
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To make the war cheaper, send barrels of hog fat to the terrorists and spray 'em with it to desanctify the bombers :lol:
 
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