Regarding threads in your sweater - it was a joke - obviously lost on you.
Regarding spinning the front wheel, you obviously didn't do a search regarding this issue - you have to jack the car up before you can spin the wheel - I though this was obvious - obviously not!!!
- Before jacking the car up, make sure it has stopped moving.
- Ensure the car is in the correct position prior to jacking up (i.e. on the dyno).
- Strap the car down.
Let me know if you need any more instructions!!!