To give you an idea of the kind of people I hang around with, here is a diagram of "anti-gravity cat theory".

This theory comes from a friend of mine - he's a pilot for FedEx. Too bad, a mind THIS brilliant should be flying PEOPLE, dont' you think?



This is a diagram of antigravity cat theory.

As you know, toast always lands buttered side down, and the Law of Cat Conservation requires that cats always land on their feet. Thus, if you attach a slice of buttered toast to the back of a cat, you create something of a paradox.

Looking at the diagram, Fbt is the force of the buttered toast, and Fc is the force of the cat. I won't bore you with the actual equations, but they result in the cat seeking equilibrium in space. In theory, the cat will remain motionless, but in actuality local variances in the Earth's gravity and the butter applied to the toast result in a rotational force being applied to the cat.

So you see, the cat would spin like a fan – limited in speed ONLY by air resistance.