Dan I think the problem is what (local information vs 500 mile radius) the insurance company is using to settle the claim. The company I work for uses local resales including dealers to price out a total loss. They also include tax and tags. I've had two cars totalled in my family and I was surprised at how close the payoffs were in relation to what we could buy the same vehicle for. As for the aftermarket stuff on the car, take it off. They aren't paying you for it unless like someone said you have riders. Not sure about custom wheels. If you can show a receipt the may cut some slack on those. The problem with insurance is it is state specfic in other words what flys in Florida may be totally different in Maine. I also don't understand your statement that the guy hit you on purpose and his company wont fix your car? If he hit you then Progressive should be able to subrogate against them and get your deductible back. When all is said and done I'd bet the other company will settle within 500 to 1000 $ of what progressive quoted you.
Sorry this happened to you, its very tough with a car that started out at $37,000 in 2004 and one of those (an 04) you can now buy for under 10k
Pat