Welcome to the family!!! I will try to answer your questions, though other people may have additional comments.
1. The anti tow away feature. Is something supposed to illuminate when I turn it on? I press it and there is no way of telling whether it worked or not... Hopefully it's not broken.
I haven't ever seen the 'light' come on when I press the tow toggle on my dash
2. There is a little orange lit device with three buttons up near the window behind the interior light switch. I have no idea what it does and nothing happens when I press the buttons.
That is the electronic garage door opener. Check the manual for how to program it.
3. When I press traction control, is it "on" when the lights come on the tach or off?
If the light is on, on the dash...then the traction control is off.
4. I seem to lose the ability to accellerate when flooring it while making turns. Kinda scary. It feels like it has some sort of safety device and it does it whether the traction control is turned on or off.
If traction control is on, then you will see yourself losing power pretty quickly when you break traction. Even with the traction control off, the car will pull power when you hit a bit further of an angle off center.
5. I originally noticed it was shifting around 4k rpm's but tonight it seemed to be going all the way up to 6k. I don't know what changed but that's also scary.
Not sure what this could cause this. Different pressure on the pedal. If you mash the pedal you will stay in the gears longer before shifting compared to just putzing along down the road
6. A guy at the chrysler dealership told me a guy who was in germany had someone download a flash to his ECU in germany for 100 bucks and it basically turned it into a completely different car. It unlocked things that seemed to be turned off from the factory version. Is this cheap or did he get hooked up fat? I noticed needswings does the ecu tune for $1300+ and if it's merely just downloading pre-determined information to the ecu that seems pretty steep for a simple ecu update.
There is nothing simple about modifying and tuning the ECU. Eurocharged does great work and you will find a lot of people on the forum with high praises. I definitely suggest them. Check out
Eurocharged Performance and Tuning- Exotic and European Tuning Specialists
8. I wanted to remove the resonator but they said it would be about $1000+ to get it done at the dealership... that seems pretty lame. I could get a Borla installed for cheaper than that!!!
That's really steep for removing a resonator. I would suggest going to the dealer for as little work as possible. My advice would be to find a good aftermarket shop in your area and go talk to them about doing some of the modifications you want.
....again, welcome to the family. Enjoy the car, be safe, and drive it like you stole it.