ok another update, went to a local chrysler dealer and talked their trans tech. he said its the pump in the trans that is going bad and the whining is from the debris clogging the filter (which explains why when i shut it off it is quiet for a little bit, the debris clogging the filter falls off when the flow stops and it takes a min to build back up)

also the slipping is we overfilled the trans (we filled to hot when cold) and the fluid began to aerate since air compresses we got a slipping trans.......