more info i forgot to share- the shifter is stuck in park, will not shift out. i was able to use the skeleton key thing and get it to shift. was thinking about a bad neutral safety switch, but it won't crank in P or N.
also, there is no gear indicator on the dash. i believe it should have something that indicates selected gear?
That is a big clue. I've read about the no gear indicator on the instrument panel, but I can't put the pieces together right now. On the automatic the neutral safety switch runs from the console to the ignition switch and is triggered by the brake peddle. What bothers me is nothing on your scanner when looking at modules. That points at the PCM. as you have power to the data connector and good grounds.
You are certain that the RCM and the relays are all Okay? And you know about the three starts and the SKREEM associated problems if you disconnect the battery and then try to start car?
Hopefully someone else can help out. You know anyone nearby with another Xfire? You could try his RCM and even use his help with jumper cables to be certain those associated problems are accounted for.
PS FYI there is a Crossfire owner in Ft. Meyers Fl who is on this forum regularly " Dualsportdad" and he runs his own repair service. If he is not too far away from you. Just a thought.