Sorry for the long delay, was busy doing other things, and frankly, dreading the project. But the car can't sit forever so I got back on it.
much thanks to everyone for the help and advice, be it right or wrong
I found a way to test the battery and starter even though I was pretty sure they are good- unplugged the pulse relay and put 12V to the output wire- engine cranked over at a good pace, but would not start.
going back to the fact the shifter is locked out, and having the factory wiring diagrams, I realized the traction system relay feeds 12V to the shifter assembly. no power here would explain why the shifter was stuck and why the car won't crank(doesn't know it's in park).
But I checked the RCM and relays are good, right?
the traction relay gets and sends power(contacts are good), the coil gets power, and the coil is grounded when the key is in the run position.
but even though the coil gets power and ground, it doesn't physically latch. I was able to push the contacts closed manually and the car starts.
Also, a jumper wire from battery positive to the traction relay output(pin 5C on the RCM) will allow the car to start, since that sends power to the shifter.

what is strange is when I bench tested the coils they all did latch, with my supplied ground and 12V.
so maybe the TC relay coil is going bad and needs more current than the car is supplying? not sure on that one.

in summary I need to repair the TC relay or just send it to Tighed1 for repair.

thanks again to everyone who offered help, I doubt I could have fixed this on my own.
and who knows, this may even help someone stuck on the road some day.


jumper from battery positive to traction relay output, not recommended for extended use