Originally Posted by Egyorko

Problem solved! No longer stumped.

I put WAY too much thinking into this. As it turns out the grey shroud over the wiper motor connector (that plugs in to the front of the BCM) slides to lock it in place. It was positioned such that the connector would not fully seat into the BCM - just enough so that the power and ground pins were connected but the wiper motor sense (park switch) was not. That is why it stopped in random positions, as if the park switch wasn't functional. All I had to do was slide the shroud back, fully seat the connector and VOILA - perfect wiper operation.

Thanks again to everyone who worked here to help me out. Feel kinda dumb about it, but after a few months of shaking my head I'm just glad it's working now!