Bubba and Jethro were standing at the base of a flagpole.

Bubba says "I wonder how tall it is?"
Jethro says "I donno"

A blond is walking by so they asked her if she knew how tall the flagpole was.

The blond opens her purse and pulls out a wrench and unbolts the pole. She then gets a small block and tackle from the purse and proceeds to carefully lower the pole to the ground. She pulls out a tape measure from the purse, measures the pole and says "The pole is 39 feet 2 inches and sets on a 5 inch base. With that she packs everything up and walks away.

Bubba says to Jethro "Ain't that just like a dumb blond. We ask her how tall it and she tells us how long it is."

 

if this is true then --------------------This is no joke.
I don't have or do face book but some of you do and can check this out. . I think this happens all the time. and only wish we had a way to stop it. this is a discrace to the working people and for us to let our government ( OH that is us) do this how to stop it ,I don't know


A
Ford Dealer's Report - From Tom Selkis' (Latham Ford) Facebook -True
story yesterday at the dealership.

"I'll
try to make this as short and to the point as I can.One
of my salesmen here had a woman in his office yesterday wanting tolease
a brand new Focus.

As
he was reviewing her credit application with her he noticed she wason
social security disability.

He
said to her you don't look like you're disabled and unable to work.She
said well I'm really not. I could work if I wanted to, but I makemore
now than I did when I was working and got hurt (non-disablinginjury).

She
said the gov't sends her $1500.00 a month in 1 check. And she gets$700.00
a month on an EBT card (food stamps), and $800.00 a month forrent.

Oh
yeah, and 250 minutes free on her phone.That
is just south of $3500.00 a month. Tax free, by the way.

When
she was working, she was taking home about $330.00 per week.Do
the math and then ask yourself why the hell should she go back towork.

 

Your right, NO JOKE!

 

Euro-English
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

 

LOL. The best part is that we kan kuss and use profanity and the forum filters will not katch it.

 

Thought people were texting that way now...

 

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

3 people are convicted in France of high crimes and face the guillotine.

First guy (englishman) comes up and the executioner says "Do you have any last words?

Guy says "I have no regrets. I did it for my country".

Guillotine is released but it stops halfway. According to the rules, if the guillotine doesn't work, he can leave unharmed.

Second guy (german) comes up and is asked the same question.

He says "I would do it again". Same thing guillotine falls but stops short. He is free to go.

Third guy (Canadian) is put in the guillotine and asked if he has any last words.

"You know, if you put a little grease in those grooves it might work better".

 

Franc: glad to see your're back with some good humor ... have missed it...Carl

 

I'm here all the time Carl. But how often can one speak of TPM's, Back Cat Deletes, and Crank Position Sensors?

 

Franc: know where you're coming from...I agree..love your sense of humor...Carl

 

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.

"No, they went to town."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself.

When the young boy says. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment...then says "You'll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $50 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

 

It's in German but Yu Vil Lik it anyvays.


Embedded video - Snotr

 

ahhhahahaha! thanks

 

"Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies."
Bill Watterson, Cartoonist

 

I got in touch with my inner self today. Enlightening.


But believe me, that is the last time I buy single ply TP!!!!!

 

Yea, sometimes saving money can be a real pain in the A$$ !

 

Crime is everywhere these days. It's disgusting what has happened to our society.


So, I have on my wall a STOP sign, a GUN-FREE ZONE sign, and a NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH sign.


It took me three hours to remove those suckers from their posts.

 

...lol....

 

Dad just replaced all the cat litter with 44 bags of POP Rocks......




Now, we wait.