My wife sent me a text saying
"Your Great!"

I responded with one saying,
"No, You're Great!"

She has been smiling and pleasant to me all day.

Should I just be quiet, or tell her I was correcting her grammar?

 

Hahaha. I should try that.

 

 

 

And is it the same father for all? LMAO!


.

 

THAT, was some party eh!

 

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women. I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. I said yes, my kids helped. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become.

 

Shortly after my wife and I arose this morning--and after a few minutes of hugging and snuggling--I announced that I would really like to continue; but I had probably better shave and shower, in order to get to Hardee's before 11:00 AM (when they quit serving breakfast).

She responded that I love Hardee's more than I love her.

I replied that that is true; but that she should still be proud that she comes in a strong second.

Perhaps, I suggested, we could even purchase her a trophy for that.

The locks to the doors on the house have not been changed.

Yet...

 

An admiral visited one of the ships of the line under his command.
While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval
insignia stamped on every biscuit.

He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be
used on other ships under his command.

The Chief replied, "I’d be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each
biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the
Navy insignia.

Horrified the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"

The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, If that’s the way you feel, sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts.

__________________

 

Lol


__________________

 

Alive and well I see....I still have to pinch myself each morning, just sayin'....

 

Good to hear you are still on the green side of the sod Doc!

Thanks for posting.

 

...

 

I miss the old style rotary phones. The ones you could slam down when you wanted to make a point to some sob who had just p!ssed you off.. Hitting the "Send Button" hard just doesn't do it for me

 

I like the Humor forum. It's one most of the "experts" don't frivolously challenge opinions and argue to the point of tedious.

I do wish more would post here. I will certainly try to entertain.
After all; A good laugh is like manure to a farmer,
it doesn't do any good until you spread it around.

__________________

 

Patient: Doctor I have a sore throat, I ache, and have a fever.

Doctor: Sounds like some kind of virus.

Patient: Everyone in the office has it.

Doctor: Well then, that sounds more like a staff infection.

__________________

 

As my dad used to say....."an expert is a failure away from home"....

I do appreciate your keeping this Thread going!

 

Thanks, I'll try.

Tidbits and groaners, jokes and an occasional bit of wry wisdom.

Here's one,

Trust me on this.
No matter how cold it is, never ever enter a bank wearing a ski mask.
I know that now.

 

Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.




In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people’s home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!

 

hahaha .. Too much!


information.