Killdozer...
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Killdozer...
Read this on another forum but felt it was written well enough to be posted here also, funny, strange and sad all in one....
There are some men you just don't **** with, the sort of men who should carry public safety warnings tattooed on their foreheads. We're talking about the sort of man who when confronted with a wild bear wouldn't attempt anything so lame as killing it or even wrestling it bare handed (heh, see what I did there ?). No these are the type of men who would befriend the bear, then invite it around for dinner and serve only a really spicy vegetarian curry. They'd ask it over for poker night with the guys and then blatantly cheat, they'd have an affair with Mrs Bear and email the sex tape to all the other bears in the neighbourhood. The sort of men that they breed in South Dakota, for it was there in 1951 that a certain Marvin Heemeyer was born.
Marvin didn't come to our attention until 1992 when he moved to a small town in Denver called Granby (pop. 500). He ran a car exhaust repair and replace shop just outside the town and bought a couple of acres of land right next to it. Now Marvin was punching below his weight here, he was an expert mechanic and engineer, in fact he was the experts expert, described by some as an artist with a welding torch, he could replace the muffler in your car in 20 minutes flat, single handedly.
Shortly after buying the land Marvin agreed to sell it to a local family called Docheff, they were pretty much the Boss Hoggs of the area, owning much of the town's land, businesses, politicians and police force.
This was a decision Marvin soon came to regret, the Docheffs wanted to build a whacking big cement plant on the land. Firstly this would cut off road access to the muffler shop, something of a handicap in the automobile repair business, it would also cover the shop and it occu
in a thick and constantly replenishing layer of cement dust. Now that **** gets everywhere, it's hard to get rid of (especially when there's another load drifting in on the breeze) and it really messes things up, not just in a bad-hair-day way either, it gets into machinery, blocks vents, contaminates any liquids exposed to it and it's a fire risk.
Denver's a mountainous state, and when a guy like Marvin gets news like that, we imagine his primal roar of anger echoed throughout the state and even briefly gave hope to a young shepherd boy in Switzerland who thought that rescuers were on their way to dig him out of this pesky 40 foot deep snow drift. Sorry Hansel, better luck next time.
Marvin did the right thing and played by the rules, he appealed against the planning application and fought it for several years with the town authorities. He even got a petition from the locals supporting him. All to no avail. The town council continued to approve the application at every step of the appeal process amid allegations of bribery that, AFAIK, haven't been disproved. He fought the decision for several years but eventually the cement plant was built, his business collapsed, he was spending over $20 a week on shampoo (the guy had a beard fer crissakes) and there was grit in his sandwiches.
Most men at this point would've shrugged, gotten drunk and knuckled under, but they breed 'em tough in South Dakota and history had a different fate in store for Marvin Heemeyer. Two years earlier he'd bought a Komatsu D3 Bulldozer intending to build a road linking his shop to the highway and link his business up to the local sewer system, but the council had blocked his plans. Now he was facing ruin, he stood looking at the D3 that had been sitting in his shop for the last two years in almost mint condition. We imagine his eyes twinkled at this point...
Marvin promptly sold his business to a local trash company in order to free up some funds and rented it back from them. For the next 18 months Marvin led a double life, by day he was a mild mannered mechanic, but every night he'd return to his workshop and close the doors. Illuminated only by the silvery glow of the safety warning tattooed on his forehead, Heemeyer went to work, and one afternoon in June 2004 the walls of his shop literally erupted outwards. World, meet Killdozer, one of the most impressive engines of destruction ever to appear on this planet.
Marvin had been a busy boy. The D3 was now covered with an armoured shell that consisted of an inner layer of half inch thick armour plate, another layer of concrete over a foot thick and an outer layer half inch armour plate. The bulldozer's tracks, hydraulic systems and electronics were also given armoured protection. The interior space could be completely sealed against gas attack, cameras mounted on the hull fed images back to a couple of monitors in the cabin. There was air conditioning, oxygen tanks, air purification, food and water, enough to keep the driver alive for a couple of days if he happened to find himself at the bottom of the sea, or even in the Sea Of Tranquility. There were four gun ports and according to police reports Marvin had equipped himself with some heavy artillery, including a Barret M82 .50 calibre.
If this were a TV movie then it'd be at this point that Marvin's incredibly loud speakers would echo a resounding "Bah-hah-ha-ha, kneel before Zod!" Marvin's made of tougher stuff than that. Without further ado the Killdozer started tearing apart the cement plant and in a bizarre "I can't believe this is real" moment, one of the Docheff family's sons leapt into one of those big ole construction machines that weigh at least 15 tons (that's imperial, not metric Euro-boy) and tried to use it to block Marvin's progress. It's a genuine KITT vs KARR moment. But when faced with 75 tons of armour plated behemoth racing towards him at ramming speed the Docheff sibling, understandably, ran away. With the spirit of the French filling his soul, he hit reverse and legged it, only to stall a few hundred yards later but that's no problem for Killdozer, it pushes the giant vehicle out of the way like we would swipe away an annoying insect.
Seemingly emboldened by the success of his trial by fire Marvin stepped it up a gear. He headed towards town. Watched by the local news choppers circling overhead he started his slow but inexorable attack. Over the next few hours approximately seven million dollars worth of revenge was meted out. The town hall was virtually demolished as the Killdozer moved through and over the local newspaper offices, the home of the judge who'd ruled in favour of the cement plant, the hardware store who (apparently) short changed the wrong customer, the local firestation suffered mortal damage as did the police station. Dozens of vehicles were simply squished or thrown as twisted wrecks through brick walls, giving us a kind of Mirror Universe Banksy.
As Marvin and Killdozer worked their way like a slow tornado through town the residents were treated to the bizarre sight of half the police force jogging ahead of it waving off oncoming traffic while the other half were jogging behind it blasting away ineffectually with their sidearms. Hundreds of rounds of ammunition along with a few explosives just didn't make a scratch on that awesome armour. When the regional SWAT team deployed Killdozer just laughed in their faces.
Fate's fickle finger was to tickle Marvin one more time. Driving through the wreckage of one of his targets he found himself trying to drive over a recently uncovered basement. Gravity, being the ***** that she is, looked sharply in his direction and demanded to know what the hell he thought he was doing driving a 75 ton vehicle through thin air.
Down he went. Killdozer landed at such an angle that he couldn't get a grip with the tracks. On seeing this the SWAT guys started blasting away with everything they had, accompanied by an enthusiastic support from the local PD. Then, according to police reports, there was a moments silence, apparently it's good tactical discipline for everyone to reload at the same time. The sound of a single gunshot was heard from the Killdozer cabin. Marvin Heemeyer died as he'd lived, on his own terms.
As a final testament to Marvin's engineering skills we'll point out that despite the fact that the Killdozer was immobilised and her driver was dead, it still took the authorities nearly 12 hours to get through her hull and gain entry, it took three controlled explosions and a few hours dedicated work with a blowtorch before she finally yielded.
For a lot of people Marvin Heemeyer has become a folk hero. They point to the facts that (incredibly) no one was hurt or killed during his attack, eye witnesses say that he actually went out of his way to avoid any people that crossed his path. He only damaged buildings belonging to those who were part of his continued appeals being turned down, the Town Hall records, not the office the actual paper records dating back a couple of hundred years, were largely destroyed.
His friends and family speak highly of him, Marvin must've been pushed beyond enduarnce they say.
For the briefest sliver of time Marvin and Killdozer focused the world's attention onto Denver and the town of Granby (pop. 499).
PS: Here's a couple of the many You-Tube videos on this
YouTube - KILLDOZER TRIBUTE TO MARVIN HEEMEYER AND HIS KILLDOZER
YouTube - A Tribute To Marvin Heemeyer and the Killdozer
There are some men you just don't **** with, the sort of men who should carry public safety warnings tattooed on their foreheads. We're talking about the sort of man who when confronted with a wild bear wouldn't attempt anything so lame as killing it or even wrestling it bare handed (heh, see what I did there ?). No these are the type of men who would befriend the bear, then invite it around for dinner and serve only a really spicy vegetarian curry. They'd ask it over for poker night with the guys and then blatantly cheat, they'd have an affair with Mrs Bear and email the sex tape to all the other bears in the neighbourhood. The sort of men that they breed in South Dakota, for it was there in 1951 that a certain Marvin Heemeyer was born.
Marvin didn't come to our attention until 1992 when he moved to a small town in Denver called Granby (pop. 500). He ran a car exhaust repair and replace shop just outside the town and bought a couple of acres of land right next to it. Now Marvin was punching below his weight here, he was an expert mechanic and engineer, in fact he was the experts expert, described by some as an artist with a welding torch, he could replace the muffler in your car in 20 minutes flat, single handedly.
Shortly after buying the land Marvin agreed to sell it to a local family called Docheff, they were pretty much the Boss Hoggs of the area, owning much of the town's land, businesses, politicians and police force.
This was a decision Marvin soon came to regret, the Docheffs wanted to build a whacking big cement plant on the land. Firstly this would cut off road access to the muffler shop, something of a handicap in the automobile repair business, it would also cover the shop and it occu
in a thick and constantly replenishing layer of cement dust. Now that **** gets everywhere, it's hard to get rid of (especially when there's another load drifting in on the breeze) and it really messes things up, not just in a bad-hair-day way either, it gets into machinery, blocks vents, contaminates any liquids exposed to it and it's a fire risk.Denver's a mountainous state, and when a guy like Marvin gets news like that, we imagine his primal roar of anger echoed throughout the state and even briefly gave hope to a young shepherd boy in Switzerland who thought that rescuers were on their way to dig him out of this pesky 40 foot deep snow drift. Sorry Hansel, better luck next time.
Marvin did the right thing and played by the rules, he appealed against the planning application and fought it for several years with the town authorities. He even got a petition from the locals supporting him. All to no avail. The town council continued to approve the application at every step of the appeal process amid allegations of bribery that, AFAIK, haven't been disproved. He fought the decision for several years but eventually the cement plant was built, his business collapsed, he was spending over $20 a week on shampoo (the guy had a beard fer crissakes) and there was grit in his sandwiches.
Most men at this point would've shrugged, gotten drunk and knuckled under, but they breed 'em tough in South Dakota and history had a different fate in store for Marvin Heemeyer. Two years earlier he'd bought a Komatsu D3 Bulldozer intending to build a road linking his shop to the highway and link his business up to the local sewer system, but the council had blocked his plans. Now he was facing ruin, he stood looking at the D3 that had been sitting in his shop for the last two years in almost mint condition. We imagine his eyes twinkled at this point...
Marvin promptly sold his business to a local trash company in order to free up some funds and rented it back from them. For the next 18 months Marvin led a double life, by day he was a mild mannered mechanic, but every night he'd return to his workshop and close the doors. Illuminated only by the silvery glow of the safety warning tattooed on his forehead, Heemeyer went to work, and one afternoon in June 2004 the walls of his shop literally erupted outwards. World, meet Killdozer, one of the most impressive engines of destruction ever to appear on this planet.
Marvin had been a busy boy. The D3 was now covered with an armoured shell that consisted of an inner layer of half inch thick armour plate, another layer of concrete over a foot thick and an outer layer half inch armour plate. The bulldozer's tracks, hydraulic systems and electronics were also given armoured protection. The interior space could be completely sealed against gas attack, cameras mounted on the hull fed images back to a couple of monitors in the cabin. There was air conditioning, oxygen tanks, air purification, food and water, enough to keep the driver alive for a couple of days if he happened to find himself at the bottom of the sea, or even in the Sea Of Tranquility. There were four gun ports and according to police reports Marvin had equipped himself with some heavy artillery, including a Barret M82 .50 calibre.
If this were a TV movie then it'd be at this point that Marvin's incredibly loud speakers would echo a resounding "Bah-hah-ha-ha, kneel before Zod!" Marvin's made of tougher stuff than that. Without further ado the Killdozer started tearing apart the cement plant and in a bizarre "I can't believe this is real" moment, one of the Docheff family's sons leapt into one of those big ole construction machines that weigh at least 15 tons (that's imperial, not metric Euro-boy) and tried to use it to block Marvin's progress. It's a genuine KITT vs KARR moment. But when faced with 75 tons of armour plated behemoth racing towards him at ramming speed the Docheff sibling, understandably, ran away. With the spirit of the French filling his soul, he hit reverse and legged it, only to stall a few hundred yards later but that's no problem for Killdozer, it pushes the giant vehicle out of the way like we would swipe away an annoying insect.
Seemingly emboldened by the success of his trial by fire Marvin stepped it up a gear. He headed towards town. Watched by the local news choppers circling overhead he started his slow but inexorable attack. Over the next few hours approximately seven million dollars worth of revenge was meted out. The town hall was virtually demolished as the Killdozer moved through and over the local newspaper offices, the home of the judge who'd ruled in favour of the cement plant, the hardware store who (apparently) short changed the wrong customer, the local firestation suffered mortal damage as did the police station. Dozens of vehicles were simply squished or thrown as twisted wrecks through brick walls, giving us a kind of Mirror Universe Banksy.
As Marvin and Killdozer worked their way like a slow tornado through town the residents were treated to the bizarre sight of half the police force jogging ahead of it waving off oncoming traffic while the other half were jogging behind it blasting away ineffectually with their sidearms. Hundreds of rounds of ammunition along with a few explosives just didn't make a scratch on that awesome armour. When the regional SWAT team deployed Killdozer just laughed in their faces.
Fate's fickle finger was to tickle Marvin one more time. Driving through the wreckage of one of his targets he found himself trying to drive over a recently uncovered basement. Gravity, being the ***** that she is, looked sharply in his direction and demanded to know what the hell he thought he was doing driving a 75 ton vehicle through thin air.
Down he went. Killdozer landed at such an angle that he couldn't get a grip with the tracks. On seeing this the SWAT guys started blasting away with everything they had, accompanied by an enthusiastic support from the local PD. Then, according to police reports, there was a moments silence, apparently it's good tactical discipline for everyone to reload at the same time. The sound of a single gunshot was heard from the Killdozer cabin. Marvin Heemeyer died as he'd lived, on his own terms.
As a final testament to Marvin's engineering skills we'll point out that despite the fact that the Killdozer was immobilised and her driver was dead, it still took the authorities nearly 12 hours to get through her hull and gain entry, it took three controlled explosions and a few hours dedicated work with a blowtorch before she finally yielded.
For a lot of people Marvin Heemeyer has become a folk hero. They point to the facts that (incredibly) no one was hurt or killed during his attack, eye witnesses say that he actually went out of his way to avoid any people that crossed his path. He only damaged buildings belonging to those who were part of his continued appeals being turned down, the Town Hall records, not the office the actual paper records dating back a couple of hundred years, were largely destroyed.
His friends and family speak highly of him, Marvin must've been pushed beyond enduarnce they say.
For the briefest sliver of time Marvin and Killdozer focused the world's attention onto Denver and the town of Granby (pop. 499).
PS: Here's a couple of the many You-Tube videos on this
YouTube - KILLDOZER TRIBUTE TO MARVIN HEEMEYER AND HIS KILLDOZER
YouTube - A Tribute To Marvin Heemeyer and the Killdozer