This one seems to be a good choice if you don't want to have to refer the readout code to a book listing :
Innova Premium CanOBD2 with ABS Diagnostic Tool, Model# 3100 | Automotive Diagnostics| Northern Tool + Equipment

I have this one :
Autel AL301 OBDII Over The Counter DIY CAN Code Reader
but you have to reference the P code to an included listing in a book.

 

"So is there a really simple version of this tool that just gives static readouts of stored codes in a maintenance setting, and gives the explanations of what those codes may mean?"

Yes, it is called the Factory Service Manual. I just paid $62 for the 2007 version on CD from TechAuthority, same place I bought one for my Jeep. For most here the 2004 and 2005 versions that are on line will do but my '07 is different.

I have several ways to read the codes but the FSM (as in RTFM) tells me what they mean and what the diagnosis tree is for each.

Computers and the web are just tools that make doing some things much easier than in the last millennia. Am afraid that I played my first computer game in 1957 and have been being paid for work with computers since 1966. It just comes naturally I guess.

 

Unfortunately no luck - the factory service manual refers to tools that only the dealer would have. such as their actual check engine light scanner and a smoke machine.

Is there a vacuum diagram of the hoses by any chance?