Baseball Incident
Baseball Incident
Had an interesting experience last night so I thought I’d share. I was taking a walk after getting home from work when up ahead I saw a dad and his son playing ball in the front yard. Dad was pitching and the little guy would hit it. They had a Shelty that would chase down the ball and bring it back to pop when it was hit. The little fella was missing about half of the pitches and when he did he would scurry to get the ball then toss it in the air and hit it back. I’ve seen them out before. Dad has obviously been working with the little guy because he takes a real nice cut with a good follow through.
So down the sidewalk I come. The kid misses the pitch and the ball rolls down the yard and across the sidewalk in front of me. Here comes the kid scurrying after the ball and he passes a couple of feet in front of me. I assume he sees me and keep on walking. When I am almost beside him, out of the corner of my eye I see the bat flash. Oh crap, the little guy is hitting the ball. I have seen enough of the funny home videos to know how this story ends. I’m a split second away from catching that bat in the crotch. Being a man of action I start turning away from the kid while ducking my head to avoid being beaned. This action caused me kind of squat a little presenting a clean shot at my butt. Sure enough, whap, dead center on my right butt cheek I have a stinger. Dad is horrified and all apologetic but I’m laughing and can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. Well the dad wanted to have a serious talk with the little guy so I couldn’t let the kid see me laughing. So on with my walk I go. I didn’t want to have the kid feel bad about hurting me so I waited at least a block before rubbing the sting out of my butt. This morning I have a rather spectacular black/red/purple bruise that is roughly 5 inches by 2.5 inches on my right cheek. If you ever have the opportunity to avoid having some 6 year old whap you in the *** with a whiffle ball bat, I would recommend doing so.
So down the sidewalk I come. The kid misses the pitch and the ball rolls down the yard and across the sidewalk in front of me. Here comes the kid scurrying after the ball and he passes a couple of feet in front of me. I assume he sees me and keep on walking. When I am almost beside him, out of the corner of my eye I see the bat flash. Oh crap, the little guy is hitting the ball. I have seen enough of the funny home videos to know how this story ends. I’m a split second away from catching that bat in the crotch. Being a man of action I start turning away from the kid while ducking my head to avoid being beaned. This action caused me kind of squat a little presenting a clean shot at my butt. Sure enough, whap, dead center on my right butt cheek I have a stinger. Dad is horrified and all apologetic but I’m laughing and can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. Well the dad wanted to have a serious talk with the little guy so I couldn’t let the kid see me laughing. So on with my walk I go. I didn’t want to have the kid feel bad about hurting me so I waited at least a block before rubbing the sting out of my butt. This morning I have a rather spectacular black/red/purple bruise that is roughly 5 inches by 2.5 inches on my right cheek. If you ever have the opportunity to avoid having some 6 year old whap you in the *** with a whiffle ball bat, I would recommend doing so.
Re: Baseball Incident
For all those concerned about my well being I thought I give an updated injury report. All of the vibrant colors are now gone. The bruise is now just flat black.
It has been a long time since I had little people around the house. It is easy to forget just what kind of treacherous little buggers they can be. The kid may have only done half the job but I am going to heed my own advice. Be a long time before I present the other cheek to a kid with a bat.
It has been a long time since I had little people around the house. It is easy to forget just what kind of treacherous little buggers they can be. The kid may have only done half the job but I am going to heed my own advice. Be a long time before I present the other cheek to a kid with a bat.
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