Happy Thanksgiving
I am no cook but the directions did say to let the bird chill in the sink for a few hours.

 

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I experienced the WORST customer service today at a store in town.
Yesterday I bought something from this store and I paid cash for it.
I took it home and found out it didn't work.
So today, less than 24 hours later I took it back and asked if I could get a refund.
The girl in the store told me “NO” even though I still had the receipt.
I asked if I could get a replacement instead then again this person told me "NO."
I asked to speak to a manager as I'm really annoyed.
I explained that I had just bought the item, had got it home and it didn't work.
The manager just smiled and told me to my face that I was "OUT OF LUCK."
No refund !!
No FREE replacement !!!

I'll tell you what...
I am NEVER buying another Lottery Ticket from there again !!!

 

 

 

The batteries were given out free of charge.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

 

Do not drink and drive because,,,,
There are people out there who will Text and Drive,,,,

And,
They will hit you!

And,,,
It will be your fault.

 

"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography."

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."

"Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." ~ George Burns

"Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man."

"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken."

……when people say, “it’s better than sex”, they clearly aren’t doing it right.

 

 

Concealed carry is the wrong concept. To conceal is to hide, suggesting that the weapon is there for nefarious purposes. Open carry would be better for law abiding citizens. After a short time, most wouldn't even notice.


Sex is like a game of bridge, if you have a good hand you really don't need a partner.

Bitching is bitching, I don't care what language she uses.

I love to sit and watch the lightning play. Makes a tingle run up my leg, even.

If you push the big red 'emergency Only' button, don't be surprised at what happens.

120 smarts, but to really hurt, get sidewise with some 880.

Any caliber is good in a gunfight, as long as it starts with .4

Marksmanship is hitting consistently(not perfectly) at the upper limits of your rifles range, not your own.

Cheddar cheese in coffee is pretty good.

If he ain't worth killing, he ain't worth worrying over.

Some folks just need killing.

Justice may be blind, but the law is sold to the highest bidder.

Some folks wrestle alligators, some folks just shoot them. Guess which ones have a higher life expectancy.

My day has been kind of like sex with a porcupine, just when things get interesting some little ***** gets in the way.

Did you realize that sanders can , at least temporarily, totally remove your fingerprint?

Life is a joke, and you're the punchline.

 

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Waiter....







LMAO!


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Virginity is a curable condition.

There is a vast difference between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorance can be fixed by education and learning. Stupidity is curable only by massive trauma or death.

 

 

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A retired man in Florida calls up his son in Texas and says,
"Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced.
Thirty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
“We can't stay together any longer,” he says.
We argue about everything and it never ends !!
She's lazy and wont ever do anything around this house !!
I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in California and tell her I am done with this marriage !!, and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried and he calls up his sister and tells her about this phone call.
She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" and calls her father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced!
Don't do another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper,
DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.
The old man turns to his wife and says: "Okay that worked, they’re both coming here for Christmas and paying their own airfares." LOL

 

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As it always has been?










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