Humor and Clean Jokes
Administrator / Senior Member / Retired
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,088
Likes: 1,575
From: Aurora , ILL
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Two old guys were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help.
He said,"Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it.
Would you like some?"
He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness, five loaves!
By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this but me." LOL
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help.
He said,"Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it.
Would you like some?"
He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness, five loaves!
By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this but me." LOL
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 6,341
Likes: 783
From: Central South Carolina
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
two old guys were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "well, i eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
so, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help.
He said,"do you have any rye bread?"
she said, "yes, there's a whole shelf of it.
Would you like some?"
he said, "i want five loaves."
she said, "my goodness, five loaves!
By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard."
he replied, "i can't believe everybody knows about this but me." lol
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "well, i eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
so, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help.
He said,"do you have any rye bread?"
she said, "yes, there's a whole shelf of it.
Would you like some?"
he said, "i want five loaves."
she said, "my goodness, five loaves!
By the time you get to the third loaf, it'll be hard."
he replied, "i can't believe everybody knows about this but me." lol
I GOT it !!! .
Administrator / Senior Member / Retired
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,088
Likes: 1,575
From: Aurora , ILL
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
******Sad news about Vern*******
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
So for his birthday she takes him to a local
Strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
This club before.
"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
Over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Vern's wife, now furious,
Grabs her purse and
Storms out of the club.
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
Beside her.
Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
Must have mistaken him for someone else,
But his wife is having none of it
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bltch this time.'
VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every
Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
So for his birthday she takes him to a local
Strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
This club before.
"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league ."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
Over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Vern's wife, now furious,
Grabs her purse and
Storms out of the club.
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
Beside her.
Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
Must have mistaken him for someone else,
But his wife is having none of it
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bltch this time.'
VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD THIS COMING FRIDAY.
