Humor and Clean Jokes
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
A lawyer representing a wealthy art dealer called his client and said, "Saul, I have some good news, and some bad news. Saul, the Art dealer replied, "Honestly, I have had a pretty bad day today so how about you give me the good news first."
The lawyer replied, " I met with your wife today and she informed me that she had acquired two pictures for about $5,000 that she believes could fetch a minimum of $10 TO $20 million."
" Saul, I honestly believe she could be right!"
Saul replied enthusiastically, "I'm not surprised, well done woman! Apparently, my wife is becoming quite the businessperson.
"Thanks, You just made my day!" Now, with that in mind, what were those two pictures of?"
The attorney replied, " Saul, That's the bad news. The pictures are of you in bed, with your secretary."
The lawyer replied, " I met with your wife today and she informed me that she had acquired two pictures for about $5,000 that she believes could fetch a minimum of $10 TO $20 million."
" Saul, I honestly believe she could be right!"
Saul replied enthusiastically, "I'm not surprised, well done woman! Apparently, my wife is becoming quite the businessperson.
"Thanks, You just made my day!" Now, with that in mind, what were those two pictures of?"
The attorney replied, " Saul, That's the bad news. The pictures are of you in bed, with your secretary."
LMAO! I hope some of the nurses I know haven't heard this one, yet.... 
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Old age can be full of surprises.
Last night whilst I was in bed for 20 minutes I heard the Pizza Guy cough.
It was then I remembered that I had come into the bedroom looking for my wallet!
Last night whilst I was in bed for 20 minutes I heard the Pizza Guy cough.
It was then I remembered that I had come into the bedroom looking for my wallet!
Last edited by Franc Rauscher; May 13, 2025 at 05:55 PM.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Did I read that sign right?
"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW."
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In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
------------------------------ ------------------------------
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
------------------------------ ------------------------------
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
------------------------- ----------------- Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
"TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW."
------------------------------ ------------------------------
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
------------------------------ ------------------------------
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
------------------------------ ------------------------------
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
------------------------- ----------------- Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------ ------------------------------
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
------------------------------ ------------------------------
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
------------------------------ ------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------ ------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
------------------------------ ------------------------------
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------ ------------------------------
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
------------------------------ ------------------------------
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
------------------------------ ------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
------------------------------ ------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
------------------------------ ------------------------------