Humor and Clean Jokes
Reality bites! This is happening more than you know. It'll get worse, not better. 
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 202
Likes: 50
From: Mount Vernon Oh
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Here's another one ! Hard to believe anyone thinks this is great!
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
I'm getting up in years but,
I still remember when I could refer to my knees as right and left.
Now it is good and bad.
Which, curiously, changes from day to day
I still remember when I could refer to my knees as right and left.
Now it is good and bad.
Which, curiously, changes from day to day
Last edited by Franc Rauscher; Sep 20, 2022 at 10:09 AM.
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 647
Likes: 276
From: Victor, ny
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice and said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: "YES! YES! I WON, I WON”! ....and proceeded to do 10 jumping jacks!
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her clothes) and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching the dice."
MORAL OF THE STORY is not all Irish are drunks. Not all blondes are dumb........But all men....are men.
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: "YES! YES! I WON, I WON”! ....and proceeded to do 10 jumping jacks!
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her clothes) and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,"What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching the dice."
MORAL OF THE STORY is not all Irish are drunks. Not all blondes are dumb........But all men....are men.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
I had to go to the bathroom.
So, I walked across the house to the pantry.
Arriving at the pantry, I couldn't remember why I went to the pantry.
So, I went back across the house to the bathroom.
As I sat on the throne, I realized why I went to the pantry.
Toilet paper.
Getting old sucks!
So, I walked across the house to the pantry.
Arriving at the pantry, I couldn't remember why I went to the pantry.
So, I went back across the house to the bathroom.
As I sat on the throne, I realized why I went to the pantry.
Toilet paper.
Getting old sucks!
Last edited by Franc Rauscher; Oct 5, 2022 at 09:40 AM.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,506
Likes: 1,139
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Don't believe what you see in cartoons.
No matter how hard you throw it, a toilet plunger will not stick to someone's face.
Don't ask me how I know this.
No matter how hard you throw it, a toilet plunger will not stick to someone's face.
Don't ask me how I know this.
