Question

What did the well to-do Marxist use for transportation before the horse and 2 wheeled cart ?


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the 1963 GAZ M-21M Volga

 

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, "Give me one last request, dear," he said.
"Of course, John," his wife said softly.
"Six months after I die," John said, "I want you to marry Bob."
"But I thought you hated Bob," she said..
With his last breath John said, "I do!"

 

It looks like the rear bumper is falling off already.

 

A man goes to see the Rabbi. '
"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is going to poison me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's going to poison me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?
The man said, "Yes" and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

 

 

 

 

 

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

 

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me.

My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don't listen and something else....

 

at risk to being banned for posting political, I offer this......


A couple Congressmen from warmer climate loved to fish, so they wanted to try ice fishing.

They'd took off up to Canada and found a nice, big frozen lake with a little bait shop nearby where they got all their tackle - including a sturdy ice pick.

About an hour later, one of them was back to the shop and bought another ice pick and said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've have. The boat isn't in the water yet."

 

I thought growing old would take longer.
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

 

Everyone knows better than to dive into shallow water,
But this young lass seems to have missed it altogether

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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on.

 

The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed....I need bail money.

 

Now THAT is TOO FUNNY! I needed that Franc!!!


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THINKING;

"Probably the hardest work there is.
Which may explain why so many fail to engage in it."



Henry Ford

 

Alice got very excited when her dad told her it was take your daughter to work day.

When they arrived, her anticipation had her all bubbly and giggling.

But as they walked about the office, meeting all the other workers, she became more and more sullen.

Eventually, it was obvious she was unhappy and cranky.

"What's wrong?" asked her father, "You seem disappointed and cranky."
Concerned employees began to gather around.

"Dad!," she blurted, "where are they?"

"Where are whom," he asked

"... all the clowns you said you worked with."

 

 

I think the reason we are born with two hands is so we can pet two dogs at once.

A dog accepts you as the boss... a cat wants to see your resume.