You're only young once.

After that, you need some other excuse for acting like an idiot.

__________________

 

Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey Boss, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.”

The boss says, “You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her I want sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.”

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. “Hey Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon… You got nice house.!! ”

 

# 10 -- Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

# 9 -- Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."


# 8 -- Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."

# 7 -- Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."

# 6 -- Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

# 5 -- Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

# 4 -- Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

# 3 -- Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?" Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

# 2 -- Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

# 1 -- Best Caddy Comment Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

 

The Christian Science Monitor asked for less vulgar language in political discourse on cable TV. The same day, scientists announced they've just invented a wristband which emits an electric shock to your body whenever you say a curse word. The news left Robert DeNiro speechless.

 

 

Hmmm. If you boil a funny bone, does it become a laughing stock?

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's funny Franc!

 

A West Virginia state trooper, stopped a woman for going 15 miles over the speed limit.

After he handed her a ticket, she asked him,

"A ticket? Don't you give out warnings?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "They're all up and down the road. They say, 'Speed Limit 55.'"

 

My father once told me "If you are gonna do a job, do it right or don't do it at all."
To which I responded, "I don't want to mow the lawn."
To which he said, " How about I hit your head with a brick!"

 

hahahaha, I didn't realize what I was missing here! Does this really qualify as "clean" ??
You don't have a mailing list do you Franc? If so, can you add me?

 

When I come here to post in the Jokes thread, I keep ending up in the roof rack thread. The site claims it is a "related thread." Suggesting perhaps, that a roof rack on a Crossfire is a bit of a joke.

I agree.

So is a trailer hitch.

When I was a kid, I mowed lawns for a living. I mounted a trailer hitch on my 3 speed Schwinn so I could haul fuel, tools, and a mower around town. But I will not put one on my Crossie..

 

 

lol,
a roof rack, not going to happen, unless a 4x4 conversion with lift and some 33" tires, then some lights etc etc etc.

But a trailer hitch, I wish I had time to make one.