I once had decided to diet and workout so that I had a body at which people would appreciate looking, and perhaps, want to be friends.

But then,
I realized I like food much more than I like people. So, I shut that nonsense right down.

 

Why is it that a cannibal will NEVER eat circus clowns?

Because they taste funny.

 

Discipline; One of the essential elements of a good life.

As a Verb: It is what your father does to you when you screw up and he kicks your ***.
As a Noun: It is what your brain must learn so you father doesn't have to do it again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is nothing more comforting that tomato soup.

Even if it is cold

With ice

With a celery stalk



..and vodka

 

Folger's got it wrong!

The best part of waking up is going back under the covers after you pee.