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Humor and Clean Jokes

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Old Aug 7, 2018 | 04:54 PM
  #881 (permalink)  
Franc Rauscher's Avatar
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

at the pool today ....
 
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Old Aug 9, 2018 | 04:32 AM
  #882 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

A lady goes to the Dr. because she had a belly ache. The DR. says you are pregnent. She says I cant be I want a second opinion. He says ok you are UGLY.
 

Last edited by jerry226; Aug 9, 2018 at 04:52 AM.
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Old Aug 12, 2018 | 02:30 PM
  #883 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

 
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Old Aug 17, 2018 | 11:32 AM
  #884 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Best cooking instructions ever ... and the only way to do Yoga
 

Last edited by Franc Rauscher; Aug 17, 2018 at 11:35 AM.
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Old Aug 24, 2018 | 11:18 AM
  #885 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

The best things in life ....
 
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Old Aug 24, 2018 | 12:27 PM
  #886 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Harley Davidson is Closing many of its Plants Due to Declining Sales. Apparently, the Baby-Boomers all have motorcycles, and Generation X is only buying a very few, and the next generation, the Millennials, aren’t buying any at all.

A recent study was conducted to find out why

Here are the reasons why Millennials don't ride motorcycles, and why sales are down:
1. Pants won't pull up far enough for them to straddle the seat.
2. Can't get their phone to their ear with a helmet on.
3. Can't use 2 hands to eat while driving.
4. They don't get a trophy and a recognition plaque just for buying one.
5. Don't have enough muscle to hold the bike up when stopped.
6 Might have a bug hit them in the face and then they would need emergency care.
7. Motorcycles don't have air conditioning.
8. They can't afford one because they spent 12 years in college trying to get a degree in Humanities, Social Studies or Gender Studies for which no jobs are available.
9. They are allergic to fresh air.
10. Their pajamas get caught on the exhaust pipes.
11. They might get their hands dirty checking the oil.
12. The handle bars have buttons and levers and cannot be controlled by touch-screen.
13. You have to shift manually and use something called a clutch.
14. It's too hard to take selfies while riding.
15. They don't come with training wheels like their bicycles did.
16. Motorcycles don't have power steering or power brakes.
17. Their nose ring interferes with the face shield.
18. They would have to use leg muscle to back up.
19. When they stop, a light breeze might blow exhaust in their face.
20 It could rain on them and expose them to non-soft water.
21. It might scare their therapy dog, and then the dog would need therapy.
22. Their man bun wont fit under a helmet.__________________
.
 
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Old Aug 27, 2018 | 08:39 AM
  #887 (permalink)  
Franc Rauscher's Avatar
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Attached Images
 
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Old Aug 28, 2018 | 11:27 AM
  #888 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Speed checked by Radar!!!! Attached Images
 
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Old Aug 28, 2018 | 12:55 PM
  #889 (permalink)  
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JSK
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

I wondered what happened to him.
 
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Old Aug 28, 2018 | 01:08 PM
  #890 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Originally Posted by JSK
I wondered what happened to him.
He is now 85 years old on his 4th wife with 12 children and 34 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren
living home in Ottumwa, Iowa :
 
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Old Aug 29, 2018 | 08:40 PM
  #891 (permalink)  
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From: Harlingen, Texas
Default Re: The Forum Joke thread...

Amen! from Texas!
 
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Old Aug 30, 2018 | 05:01 PM
  #892 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

 

Last edited by Franc Rauscher; Aug 30, 2018 at 05:05 PM.
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Old Aug 30, 2018 | 05:03 PM
  #893 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

DoublePost
 

Last edited by Franc Rauscher; Aug 30, 2018 at 05:04 PM. Reason: DoublePost
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Old Aug 30, 2018 | 05:11 PM
  #894 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Originally Posted by ala_xfire
He is now 85 years old on his 4th wife with 12 children and 34 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren
living home in Ottumwa, Iowa :
He must have aged badly as he was born in 1943.
He is 75.
 
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Old Sep 2, 2018 | 07:57 AM
  #895 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Originally Posted by onehundred80

He must have aged badly as he was born in 1943.
He is 75.
It's simply impossible to get anything by you Dave! You da man!
 
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Old Sep 2, 2018 | 08:18 AM
  #896 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Yea, that was a test for Dave ( NOT ) - he did not fail ....
 
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Old Sep 2, 2018 | 11:49 PM
  #897 (permalink)  
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From: Denver, CO
Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the... ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of ***** I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."
 
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Old Sep 5, 2018 | 02:05 PM
  #898 (permalink)  
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

 
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Old Sep 5, 2018 | 03:33 PM
  #899 (permalink)  
Franc Rauscher's Avatar
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Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

 
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Old Sep 6, 2018 | 10:57 AM
  #900 (permalink)  
Franc Rauscher's Avatar
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From: St Louis MO
Default Re: Humor and Clean Jokes

Doggie demands ...
 
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