Humor and Clean Jokes
LOL, second time is a charm? LOL 
Senior Member
Joined: May 2023
Posts: 3,059
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From: New Jersey
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Great example of "You can't take it with you". Enjoy what you have while you're still around to do so.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,500
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From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked,"To draw out all his savings?"
Administrator / Senior Member / Retired
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,057
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From: Aurora , ILL
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Fair warning...
Let me tell you that one simple spelling mistake--even a typo--can make your life hell.
I recently texted a short, romantic message to my wife while I was away on a fishing trip, and I missed one small "e".
No problem you might say. Not so. This tiny error has caused me a lot of grief and explaining when I returned home.
I wrote,
"Hi Honey I'm enjoying and experiencing the best time of my whole life, and I wish you were her ”
Let me tell you that one simple spelling mistake--even a typo--can make your life hell.
I recently texted a short, romantic message to my wife while I was away on a fishing trip, and I missed one small "e".
No problem you might say. Not so. This tiny error has caused me a lot of grief and explaining when I returned home.
I wrote,
"Hi Honey I'm enjoying and experiencing the best time of my whole life, and I wish you were her ”
Last edited by Valk; Apr 6, 2024 at 01:47 PM.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,500
Likes: 1,126
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me."
"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man ... and then my dog bit me."
"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
