Humor and Clean Jokes
Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 270
Likes: 111
From: Northeast Indiana
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
I know .... been there many times , back row in the passion pit ... still have one one not far away
Last edited by DeKalb; Jan 24, 2026 at 10:51 AM.
Administrator / Senior Member / Retired
Joined: Jul 2007
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From: Aurora , ILL
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
My friend has 2 tickets for the SUPER BOWL, both box seats.
He didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at the Temple of God Church
Her name is Karen Johnson she is 5'1, about 140lbs, she's a good cook too...She'll be the one in the white dress.
He didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at the Temple of God Church
Her name is Karen Johnson she is 5'1, about 140lbs, she's a good cook too...She'll be the one in the white dress.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,502
Likes: 1,131
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
A big city New York lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's shin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick landed square on the man's nose. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's shin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick landed square on the man's nose. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,502
Likes: 1,131
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Little Johnny got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
Little Johnny asked why he wore his collar backwards.
The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father..'
Little Johnny replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'
The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.'
Little Johnny said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'
The priest, getting impatient said, 'I am the Father of hundreds' and went back to reading his book.
Little Johnny sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom . . . and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.
What road did you say she was on? 
Administrator / Senior Member / Retired
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,088
Likes: 1,575
From: Aurora , ILL
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
I think she was on EASY STREET
Last edited by Valk; Jan 30, 2026 at 03:37 PM.