Humor and Clean Jokes
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,502
Likes: 1,131
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question,
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says,
"I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,502
Likes: 1,131
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done for an FBI job, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair Kill her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said,'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home'.
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. I had to beat him to death with the chair.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair Kill her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said,'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home'.
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. I had to beat him to death with the chair.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,502
Likes: 1,131
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
My darling husband Ben,
Before you return from your business trip,
I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the van when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately, it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from the supermarket and when I turned into the driveway. I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately, the van came to a halt when it bumped into your beloved & very rare classic car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.
You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife,
Becky
P.S.: Your Girlfriend Called
Before you return from your business trip,
I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the van when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately, it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from the supermarket and when I turned into the driveway. I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately, the van came to a halt when it bumped into your beloved & very rare classic car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.
You know how much I love you and care for you, my sweetheart.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife,
Becky
P.S.: Your Girlfriend Called
