Fair warning...
Let me tell you that one simple spelling mistake--even a typo--can make your life hell.
I recently texted a short, romantic message to my wife while I was away on a short trip, and I missed one small "e".
No problem you might say. Not so. This tiny error has caused me a lot of grief and explaining when I returned home.
I wrote:

"Hi Honey, I'm enjoying and experiencing the best time of my whole life, and I wish you were her ”

 

That's a genuine faux pas !

 

 

 

Now here is an idea..........

 

 

 

This is true and really fun
Most of you will likely still be able to read this major misspelled paragraph
Can you read this ??

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

 

A policeman on a horse approaches a little girl on a bicycle and says, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
“Yep,” replies the little girl.
“Well, tell him he should have put a reflector light on it he says, and fines her $5 for not having one.

The little girl looks up at the policeman and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there. Did Santa bring you that?”
The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!”
“Well,” says the little girl, “tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it” LOL

 

 

I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one.
A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public restroom is worse.
Apparently, an RSVP to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.
Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens. Give it a minute..
I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.
I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.
I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have lots of new ideas.
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway.
I picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.
I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... same thing.

 

Did you hear about the man who collapsed while climbing Mount Everest?

Authorities just found Himalayan there.

 

Ya, and he was about to Finish his climb and the authorities weren't Russian to find him.

 

Frame off restoration

 

When she goes to her ATM, she always takes along her Smith & Wesson.
She has never had any problems with muggers.
Smith seen here on the left, Wesson on the right

 

 

Cleaning with alcohol doesn't work!
After the first bottle nothing gets done.

 

WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
A lexophile of course
Someone who loves to use words uniquely!

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• Haunted French pancakes give me the crκpes.

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

* I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

 

You were raised on cornbread & beans
Your crib was covered with Lead Base paint
You road a bike with no helmet on gravel roads
Your parents had no child proof lids or seat belts in cars
You had 3 TV channels
School always started w/the Pledge of Allegiance, & stores were closed Sunday
You drank water out of the creek & a water hose and you still turned out OK