This isn't exactly car stuff but I need to write this. My friend and neighbor committed suicide this weekend.

He has all the material stuff, a three million dollar house, a Ferrari, a business and a very hot girlfriend. He was a recovering alcoholic but didn't think he needed AA. While he died sober, I think the 12 step program would reduced the odds of this tragedy happening.

If you or anyone else has a substance abuse problem. I would encourage all so afflicted to find a spiritual or other support group. Abstinence may not be enough.

Stuff is great, but It didn't save my pal.

 

My younger brother is a MESS. He's been in and out of AA at least three times in 25 years.

I always expected him to take the way out your friend did, so far, he hasn't.


Your advice about a support group is right....
But, you can't tell my brother anything.


(SOrry about your friend.)

 

A sad tale indeed.
A permanent solution for a temporary problem.
Support groups can really make a difference for some.
The reasons for substance abuse are many.
Everything looks good on the outside, And a train wreck inside.

 

You can't make anyone sober, I'm sorry about your brother's situation. While I've been clean and sober for years, I went through that revolving door many times. As long as he keeps going back there is hope.

God bless you pal. Drunks are really frustrating and hell on the family.

 

A lot of wisdom in that post.

 

Thanks Max.

 

Max,

So sad to hear of your loss. The pathetic trail of tears from substance abuse is a terrible torment for those at the center and their family and friends.

It seems there is no answer and patience is seldom rewarded.
I cannot think of anyone who is not affected by such tragedy.

My prayers are offered for your friend as well.


franc

 

this spoke volumes to me

 

So sorry for your and his families loss Mr. Max.

Alcoholism affects all equally in my opinion and I share your pain very closely. Two of my three brothers are alcoholic's and the one I am closest to (relationship wise) has tried at least three times to end his life because of the depressive state being drunk puts him in. One of these days he is going to succeed.

Unfortunately he doesn't have the real desire to beat it because he won't admit it, neither of them will but they sure do point out how the other is an alcoholic. Regardless, we know how that goes. Having him committed to a facility is only an option if he chooses it and the family just doesn't have the resources to pay for it. The only thing that may help him is to be put into jail, which he is facing 10 yrs for repeated DWI/DUI offenses. Yet that may actually be the end of him given his other illnesses have made him a feeble man.

All that said, you are right Mr. Max, everyone should encourage those around you to seek help and hopefully it is enough for them and certainly not to late for them to enjoy life once again. If nothing else, use them as examples to your children/grand children as to how sad their lives can be; thus far it has worked with my children and my brothers children as well.

 

DISCLAIMER: Those who get annoyed at discussions about God might not care to read this....pity though

Anyways.
He had all the toys and things but perhaps truely couldnt fill that God shaped hole in his heart. Christ gives hope to the hopeless in hopeless situations, and all areas of life.

I thought I was a Christian but 100% came to Christ too back in 2002 with a 380 in my hand ready to just do it and be through the pain. Had stuff too. But when you reach that point it changes your life.

My wife was a bad alcoholic and smoked but reached an extreme low in her life and asked God to take away the urge. Believe me folks, Ive seen recovering alcoholics and my wife is not someone with ANY desire for alcohol/ciggs , she is blessed.

So sorry about your friend, holidays see an influx of this course of action. Guess the best thing you can do is be there for his family and friends. Prayers out to you to my friend.

 

Max, I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend.

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of a friend of mine that loss his struggle with pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed two years ago with Stage 4 at the age of 57. It was a long struggle and he fought hard with high spirits.

Bob was an outstanding member of our community and a year before the diagnosis was made president of his company. He was living the top of his life (four sons in high school & college) and career when the news came.

The funeral service was standing room only in a church that seated more than 4,000 people. Full choir, 3 ministers and bag piper & organist. I stood for the hour & 1/2 service. People were also standing in the lobby through the ceremony.

It saddens me that someone with so much life ahead of them would voluntarily take it away while someone who appreciates life and had so much to give had it taken away from him (and us).

 

[quote=green-ghost]DISCLAIMER: Those who get annoyed at discussions about God might not care to read this....pity though

Anyways.
He had all the toys and things but perhaps truely couldnt fill that God shaped hole in his heart. Christ gives hope to the hopeless in hopeless situations, and all areas of life.

G/G, You are so on it. God saved my butt and I've seen miracles in others. The seeds of 12 step programs was an observation that those who had spiritual experiences seemed to be the ones that kicked their booze addiction. I pray in Christ's name but I'm open to others beliefs. I really like the higher power concept in AA, keeps it non dogmatic.

 

[quote=InfernoRedXfire]Max, I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend.

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of a friend of mine that loss his struggle with pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed two years ago with Stage 4 at the age of 57. It was a long struggle and he fought hard with high spirits.

Inferno, I appreciate your condolences and offer mine to you. I can hear that piper playing amazing grace right now. Your friend sounds like a wonderful human being and the turnout at his funeral shows he touched many in a positive way.

One thing that bothered my friend was that he had fried his pancreas and had severe diabetes. He had to be on it all the time. It wore him down. He couldn't live life like he once had. He had lost millions in the real estate bubble pop and was barely hanging on to his remaining assets.

Green Ghost had it right. He needed God in his life and a spiritual group to help him keep his priorities straight and his spirits hopeful.

 

Sorry to hear it Max....it's hard thing to lose a friend in that way or any way for that matter...chin up, and move on, remember the good times...

 

very sad about your buddy Max. Truly. But do you know that the substance abuse led to the suicide, or was that just the general conclusion. My bet is that were much more serious issues going on inside him that put him in a corner of some sort. There's probably more to this than you can possibly know.

 

An excellent point Mark.

Substance abuse is often just a symptom of the real problem.

 

I lost my lifetime best friend 6 years ago. He was 42 at the time of his death. He had hip replacement surgery a couple years earlier, and as a result of the surgery, became addicted to Oxycontin. One night, he was drinking wine while taking the Oxycontin.... He died in his sleep that night. He had a 3 year old son, and a new born that he left his wife with. It was such a senseless death at such a young age. He was not trying to commit suicide, but his actions produced the same result. There are not many days that go by that I do not still think about him. Many days, I get this feeling of anger towards him for leaving me and his family. Addictions can cause pain and suffering that long outlive the person that has the addiction.

My condolences to you and his family during this very sad time.

 

Yes M, there were other issues as I mentioned in my response to Inferno Red. My initial post wasn't really about the addiction killing him. He hadn't had a drink for over a year. My post was to point out the truth that cessation of the offending substance is only the thresh hold to a normal life that is fulfiling and worth living. At least once a week I sit in a room and listen to others about dealing with sobriety, an unnatural state for all of us attending. I encouraged my pal to join us but he chose not to. I invited him to go to church with us also but he declined.

I just wanted to encourage others to seek help and to help others to seek help. We don't have to deal with our demons alone. My neighbor obviously had some nasty ones.

 

Sorry about your friend Max. My best friend committed suicide when we were 14 and I still have a hard time when I think about it . We grew up together and all it took was one time I wasn't there and he had a mental glitch. Time will temper the feelings, but it does little comfort now. Allowing friends in at this time will help in the healing.

 

Max, not hijacking the thread but want to tell of something that recently happened in hopes to enlighted others. To be short, I grew up with 2 really good friends in the 70s. One went through a bad divorce lost custody of 4 kids etc...a broken man. I got the chance to visit him last year and was surprised he found God. However, his addiction to alcohol and pot led to his death (no helmet on a triumph crotch rocket). Never got to say good bye.

I found out my other good pal died from stomach cancer just last friday. Never got to say good bye to him either. Now Im the last of us three and Im going in for a cancerous thryoid on 21 Dec. My attitude has changed.

my point is to love everyday you have and especially love those around you. Boilerupxf almost got taken out in a blink of an eye. We just dont know when the next time will be the last. For me, my friends deaths has been a subtile yet sobering realization as to how much others mean to me, everyone from family to strangers. I feel closer to God and seem to be living life more in line with Christ's doctrine.

Life is good yet it is also short folks. Focus on what really matters

Pooly