Not long ago, a merchant found monkeys living near a village.

One day he came to the village stating that he wanted to buy monkeys for $100 each.

The villagers thought that the man must be crazy. Why would somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?

Still, people caught monkeys and sold them to the Merchant for $100 each.

This news spread like wildfire and more people caught monkeys and sold them to the Merchant.

After a few days, the Merchant announced that he would now buy monkeys for $200 each.

The laziest villagers now ran around to catch the remaining monkeys which they sold at $200 each.

The Merchant then announced that he would buy monkeys for $500 each!

The villagers caught six or seven monkeys, which were all that were left, and got $500 each.

They then waited anxiously for the next announcement.

Then the Merchant proclaimed that he was going on holiday for a week, but when he returned would buy monkeys at $1000 each. He also said that, in his absence, his Employee would be in charge to take care of the monkeys he had purchased. Then the Merchant went on holiday.

The villagers were frantic as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell at $1000 each as promised by the Merchant, but then the Merchant's Employee publicized that he would secretly sell some monkeys at $700 each.

This news spread like wildfire and the next day the villagers queued up near the monkey cage.

The Employee sold all the monkeys at $700 each. The rich villagers bought monkeys in large lots, and the poor borrowed money from money lenders and bought the rest of the monkeys.

The villagers took care of their monkeys and waited for the Merchant to return.

When the Merchant didn't return they searched to for the Employee, but he could not be found either.

Eventually the Villagers realized that they had been duped into buying the useless stray monkeys at $700 each and were now unable to sell them for any amount.

The monkey business is now known as cryptocurrency.

 

Cheer up: in 1970 to enter the subcompact market GM introduced the Vega. In the early 80s to enter the diesel market, GM introduced one. Now they are getting into the electric market.

 

 

GM is a joke.
After all, this is the joke thread


GM has always been a copycat company. Seldom the leader

 

 

And GM has been known to destroy demand. In the early '80s Mercedes announced they would be 100% diesel by 1990. Then GM entered the market.

 

A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and, when the comely waitress asks for his order, says, “I want a quickie”.

She slaps his face and says, “Now would you please give me your order?”

Again, he says, “I want a quickie”.

She slaps him again and says, “I’ll give you one last chance - what do you want?”

Someone from the next table leans over and says quietly to the man, “I think it’s pronounced quiche.”

 

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Someone HAD to do it...


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Good one!


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A man is walking past a lunatic asylum with a high wooden fence which he cannot see through. From inside the fence he can hear voices chanting “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen…” Intrigued, he finds a small knothole in the fence so he tries to peep through to find out what’s going on. As soon as he does this, someone pokes him in the eye with a stick, forcing him to fall backwards clutching his face in pain. From inside the fence he hears:
“Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen…”

 

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

 

 

 

i cheered when this hit me, Pizzaguy !

possibly the next best spot would be the poster rolled up inside the exaust pipe

 

 

Hugh Hefner became a multi-millionaire staying home in his pajamas.

Me?

I'm not having the same result.

 

I have found that if you answer the door naked, the Jehovah's Witnesses will quit coming by.

 

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. "Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears."
"How much do you charge?" "$80 per visit," replied the doctor. "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said.
Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street. "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked. "Well, $80 a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV."
"Is that so!" With a bit of an attitude he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!"