Humor and Clean Jokes
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,511
Likes: 1,149
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of chocolate-covered candy.
Then the liquor store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it a Budweiser?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"
"No," the boy replied again.
"Is it wine?"
"No," said the little boy......"It's a puppy!"
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of chocolate-covered candy.
Then the liquor store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it a Budweiser?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"
"No," the boy replied again.
"Is it wine?"
"No," said the little boy......"It's a puppy!"
No comment.
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8,511
Likes: 1,149
From: St Louis MO
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
She is single.
She lives across the street.
I can see her place from my patio.
I see her every day when she leaves and when she comes home.
Today, I watched anxiously as she came to my house and knocked on the door.
"I have this strong urge to go out tonite, dance and get drunk, and maybe some kinky sex."
"Okay,!" Said I with no attempt to hide my excitement.
"Are you doing anything tonite?"
"Nope," I said breathlessly. "I am available."
"Great," she responded. "Then would you mind watching my dog?"
GETTING OLD SUCKS!
She lives across the street.
I can see her place from my patio.
I see her every day when she leaves and when she comes home.
Today, I watched anxiously as she came to my house and knocked on the door.
"I have this strong urge to go out tonite, dance and get drunk, and maybe some kinky sex."
"Okay,!" Said I with no attempt to hide my excitement.
"Are you doing anything tonite?"
"Nope," I said breathlessly. "I am available."
"Great," she responded. "Then would you mind watching my dog?"
GETTING OLD SUCKS!
Last edited by Franc Rauscher; Feb 4, 2024 at 01:33 PM.
Achy Breaky Hearts?
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 647
Likes: 276
From: Victor, ny
Re: Humor and Clean Jokes
Teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
The fatheroffered his son the following deal.
“You bring yourgrades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your haircut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thoughtabout that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about sixweeks his father said, “Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observedthat you have been studying your Bible, but I ’m disappointed you haven't hadyour hair cut.”
The boy said,"You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies ofthe Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses hadlong hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had longhair.”
Got to love theDad’s reply:
“Did you alsonotice they all walked everywhere they went?”
The fatheroffered his son the following deal.
“You bring yourgrades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your haircut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thoughtabout that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about sixweeks his father said, “Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observedthat you have been studying your Bible, but I ’m disappointed you haven't hadyour hair cut.”
The boy said,"You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies ofthe Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses hadlong hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had longhair.”
Got to love theDad’s reply:
“Did you alsonotice they all walked everywhere they went?”
