hey guys, I need to vent this somewhere, anywhere someone will listen, I made the biggest mistake of my life about a month ago, My ex called me and said she needed to talk and like an idiot I went over there, well we ended up having sex and I have a fiance, ever since I did this it has been eating away at me. I love my fiance SO much, I don't know why I did what I did, all I know is everytime I look at my fiance I am ashamed, and I can't bring myself to tell her...to add to it all my ex is 5 days late for her period, sorry for the sad story of the life that is nate.

 

Want someone to listen. I heard you.
You didn't say you want anyone to say.
So, I am mumbling to myself " Don't make another mistake. Be honest. Whatever the consequence, you won't want to hurt the one that you love even more."
Sorry am mumbling out loud.
Still all the best.

 

thanks, ya I will try to tell her, its just hard, I never thought I would do that

 

First off... get the idea that it was a mistake out of u'r head... one saying that anything is a mistake is just a cop out... just a way of tring to take a little of the blame off themselves... Man up, and admit that you did what you wanted to do... Seconddly... you say that you love u'r fiance "SO much"... how can that be possible when you phucked another woman???

Be honest with yourself about the situation you have put yourself in.. and then you can move forward with what you are going to do with your fiance.

Might as well add my 2 cents about that too, what would you do if the shoe was on the other foot and your fiance had gone out and slept with her ex.... would you want to know? Reguardless of what that answer is, you have to tell her because you can't make that choice for her.

You made your bed, and now you are going to have to sleep in it.

Good Luck... your going to need it

 

you are 100 percent right I need to take responsibility, although I do feel in my heart I really do love her, it was like a spur of the moment thing, you know, if I could take it all back I would

 

I agree with it being a cop out. People don't do what they don't want to. If you loved her as much as you say you wouldn't of done it and you wouldn't of put yourself in a situation where stuff could of happend. Tell the truth maybe she will forgive you but to be honest people never really forgive something like that and it will always rear its ugly head. Most likely its over because very few people can forgive that much. Many say they can but few do. Sorry so grim but I am straight shooter and sugar coat nothing.
~Juice

 

well thanks for giving me advice and telling me the truth, I know it was wrong, I will tell her tomorrow, I guess i'll be getting used to the single life again

 

If she really loves you she may forgive you. But she'll never forget! You had better be squeaky clean and super attentive to her as well. (flowers wouldn't hurt either...) Either way, its going to get worse before it gets better. But... you're doing the right thing by 'fessing-up to your indescretion.

As far as the 5 days late thing goes... I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Having kids is a wonderful experience, but not when you're 20! PLEASE tell me Mr. Happy had his raincoat on!

 

I will pray for you that everything turns out right

 

first being a woman, make sure x was not already pregnant before you had sex, also go to the drs with her for the test they can tell how many weeks she is...do the math.....

 

this is why one shouldn't get engaged at 20 years old.

 

Yes, I was engaged at 20 and it didn't work. Luckily I didn't get married to her. Now, I am 3 months away from getting married to a wonderful woman.

Advise: Things happen for a reason. You must believe that in order to move on. Yes, she may forgive but will never forget. There will always be this thing looming over you.

Let us know what happens.

 

Ouch.
04chryslr, you need to be honest with both ladies. Tell the x that it was a big mistake. Tell the fiancee that you made a big mistake.
I have to agree with some of the others, your fiancee may forgive you (if you are lucky), but she will NEVER forget it or let you forget it.
If you are forgiven, do not fall victim to the 'once a cheater, always a cheater' mantra.

BTW, I was engaged at age 21, married at age 24, and been I've been married for almost 6 years.

 

Awesome, glad to hear that man!

 

Well, I can't (and don't want to) speak for others. I do know that I have made more mistakes than the average person and paid for all of them. Here is what I have learned in my life on this subject:

1. Don't decide to tell your fiance just because you feel guilty. IF you tell her, do it because it is the right thing to do. I have seen many families ruined because of one indiscretion and the guilty party thinks confession will fix everything. You are lucky in the sense that you don't have children with your fiance. If you don't tell her, make sure you start living your life the way should, not the way you want.
2. Don't kid yourself - if you tell your fiance, you have probably lost her. She trusted you and you violated that trust. It's pretty hard to rebuild that trust. It can be done but isn't easy.
3. Coupe Girl hit it on the head - do your math and make sure that you COULD be the father. If the math indicates your are the the likely canidate start talking blood tests. Whether you like it or not, you are financial responsible until the child is 18. That is a long time.

I spent most of my career flying highspeed aircraft. I had to think ahead and think thru my actions. You need to do the same. The psych guys have lots of words for what you have done. One problem (there are others) is the fact that males between 16-22 (it varies) impetuously make decisions with out thinking them thru. I have seen it happen many times. You have to figure out how to control it. There also may be other reasons you did this act. It sounds like you are a good person, now act like one!

 

your an idiot DO NOT tell your fiance what you have done, the relationship will never be the same again and she will resent you for a long time! Don't be a moron again!

Live with the pain of treating her like crap. it's much easier that dealing with a pist off woman everyday of your life.... use your big head this time!

And why are you getting married anyways, you obliviously have little respect for your fiance, and your only 20 years old. your looking at a bad outcome here, and lots of money wasted due to divorce, lawyers, babies, letting down your family and hers, the list keeps growing , etc etc...grow up first bro!

 

Yikes, a little harsh I believe. Yes, it did show a lack of respect on his behalf. The fact that he feels remorse for his actions show that he is willing to make a change. Bad things happen to good people. Make it something you learn from and go from there. If you do it again, then yes you are a freakin idiot.

 

I think if he wants to marry her he should pay for the wedding with his own cash, not with her parents money, then he'll realy find out how serious he is about going through with it all.

 

True that man. I payed $7k for my fiance's ring and am paying a little for the wedding. I could only imagine how hard it would be to do both.

Also, you ruined your life right now.....you will recover from this.....just takes time. You can only ruin your life by doing drugs and doing thhings that will harm you perminatly.

 

Maxwell.........you make me laugh! Some of the things you say.....I can almost HEAR you yelling at someone! LMFAO.....priceless!