I have two cars. Including my XF. She has one. Can I keep both of mine without paying her off since I bought my XF after we were married? Or will I have to sell and give her half the proceeds?

She wants a separation now. I'm camping in the basement now. Any and all advice appreciated. Tough stuff ahead.

 

From the little I have learned from friends who have divorced I know you are screwed and if you have any children that goes double.
Pay her off with a simple and cheap agreement done through a lawyer. An amicable settlement is way better than a court ordered one, way way cheaper. So pay up and shut up until you get that agreement signed. Then you can tell her what you really think, of course I realize there are two sides to this story, and you may be entirely at fault. But you have a Crossfire so you can't be all bad.

 

Asking a question like that on a car forum will surly get you screwed. Try asking a lawyer.

 

Can't offer much in the way of separation advice, but I will keep you and the whole situation in my prayers. From the few interactions I've had with ya, you seem to be a level-headed guy and I'm sure it will all get worked out, some way. I have many friends going through the same thing -- seven year itch and all hell breaks loose. No winners or losers in this game.

If possible, maybe sell the other vehicle and keep the Crossfire for yourself? You'd struggle to ever find another SRT in as good of shape as yours is in, and there's no rule dictating which car you keep. They make great daily drivers, and you have a few months before you have to worry about snow. The SRT roadster is an eye-catching car and would be useful to snare the rebound.

I wish you all the best bro... chin up.

 

We have lawyers on here....

 

It is so hard to answer the question - there are many variables involved.

My heart aches for you, I've been there. A prayer will be sent your way.
(But for my prayer, I expect a discount if that car becomes mine soon....)

 

Thanks guys. I'll write a little more later. At least this basement is nice. I'm keeping my car so I can keep you guys, if at all possible.

 

We got your back man.

 

Make sure the divorce papers (if it gets to that) clearly state you get us in the custody! You have to earn your crossfires.. not have them handed to you.

 

She said that I have been checked out for years and that's her reason. Little does she realize how much work goes into buying a $350k house. So we're here and moved in and now she wants out but to separate first. Just trying to put the logic together. I guess there's a chance. Spartions do work. On the bright side I think I can do better and I'm from The Chicago area where the ladies are plentiful. I need to keep this car for the rebound for sure, but I'll face a 3 hour drive once a month now. Wife wants to stay in STL. I love my XF but that's just extreme in a small car with a 3 year old so I'll likely to keep both cars.

Thanks for your kind words and prayers. I think we have two different kinds of people between her and I. So let her take her fake ***** and cause problems with another guy. Sad thing is my daughter. She's three and shouldn't have to see all this. Any advice on custody in IL? Is child support really 20% of gross?

This is soooooo incredibly tough. Sometimes my gut drops a mile. John, chin up for sure, thanks. I need to hear all the strong advice. I can ake it through this. It's a phase of life that God must feel I deserve or need. Thanks to good friends and you guys, I sense a light turning on.

 

Checked out, as not involved in her life? Going thru the motions so to speak? You got to love women. I was divorced once early on. No kids, so split everything in half and moved on. It was emotionally hard, but we speak to each other 30 yrs later, so we both knew it wasn't working. I have been married the 2nd time for 30 yrs as mentioned. I can't say we haven't had our ups and downs. I was separated once. Moved out for awhile. Had 3 young kids, so we saw each other at least 3 days a week. We were moving toward a divorce. Selling things, paying off bills. One day, I had the kids for the weekend, well, I had the kids a lot, lol.... I just asked her if she wanted to go with us to get pizza. She did. So, with 6 months separated under our belt, and the anger, and frustration over with, we could finally talk. I sought out a professional from our church to council us. And that is what I am telling you. If there is still hope, let things calm a bit, then get an outsider to help mend the wounds. If there isn't love there, then move on. Especially since your child is young as mine were. They don't even remember me being outside of the home. Good luck as I know several will be praying for you. OH, btw, I have seen many a nasty divorce, so use your head kid...don't play into that.

 

In 1988 I paid 1/3 of my gross in support. YES, almost 1/2 my take home pay.
I grosssed $640 every two weeks and they hit me with $220 every two weeks for support.

It only lasted about 18 months, when I turned the tables and got custody, but still...

 

Man ,so sorry to hear of this. I got divorced in 2007. Very nearly killed me. The bright spot is, that is how I got the XF. Other than that I got screwed like a tied goat. Over half of my 401K and at my age no way to replace it. I'm 68 now, trying to find a job, still have some 401K money, but not enough to make it too many years. Hoefully my new wife's real estate business will take off. I don't want her to have to support me, but make up some of the daily expenses. You can get through this, but it will be hard and sometimes unpleasent.
I look forward to time with the new wife, doing some of my hobbies, and making the best of where I am today! If you ever want to talk, I'm ready. Give me a PM and I am sure a lot of others would love to be of help.

 

You just think it is tough, when your on the other side youl be better and breath easier. Its just a thing.

Show then that you want the cars, they will want them. Now one is hers and one is your, that should do it unless they want money you dont have and want the car to be sold just to spite you. Cars are marital assetts, hope the value is equal. After your property agreement is settled you can offer to buy the car for some value, dont negotiate for youll lose. Offer and walk back and wait.

Suggest you remember anything that you say, do or communicate can and will be used AGAINST you in a court of law. emails, OMG emails never go away. Records are used against you, youll be surprised how good her memory can be - sorta

So , shut up, smile sweetly, have witnesses to see what you do if there are any interactions, try to be positive and dont get into ANY altercations, yelling and lord knows no - no physical contact, no touching or else youll become much more aware of your surroundings when her lawyer comes down on the court and then you. THink that her lawyer is listening to anything you say or write.............

Process your paperwork, keep on your lawyers *** and get r dun. Lawyers are hired guns and almost always will not conflict with her attorney. They have to work together and its tough if they get into a disagreement for they probably share the same golf cart on the weekends.

Others have done it and came out better, you may also.

Woody

 

Yes, she claims that I haven't loved her for 2 years. But I have. Personally, I think it's manipulation and BS. Like I said in my first post. I have been working my tail off to put her in this house and now that we are here, it's too late, she says. Other women, I sense would be happy that their husband is back in the picture and fully engaged in the fam. Thoughts? Is this end result really my fault. What are you all doing to keep your wives and cars happy!?

 

Same answer: treat them nice and hope they dont have a flat. Woody

 

Yes, in Illinois it's typically 20% of net for the first child. It's always tough on the kids. Do yourself a favor; never, never, under any circumstances put your wife down in front of your kid, or say any negative things to your kid about her mom.Take the high road. It will pay big time in the long run.

BTW, did you say fake *****? If you paid for them, make sure you get visitation rights.... JK

Keeping you in my prayers.

 

Actually, FP is a genius. I hadn't even thought of ***** (very uncharacteristic, for those who know me) but those are your perfect ticket for keeping the SRT-6 if you helped purchase them. The conditions are simple:

She can keep them installed if you can keep your '6. Otherwise, she will have to sell them and split the proceeds.

What's good for the goose...

 

You know the start of that was sarcastic right? Here's the deal as I have interviewed a heap of people in my day. If she claims you haven't loved her in the last 2 years, as you purchased a new house, paid for a boob job, etc, etc.... Then I would tell her new boyfriend, those ***** aren't real if he hasn't found that out already. Too bad man, good luck, but follow the above advise, and take the high road, take your half, but take the high road...lol

OH, to answer your question...I don't make my wife happy as she see's it, even though, like you, nice house, nice cars, so, with the kids all gone and thru college. I just remind her, of that fact.....lol. She usually calms down...and my cars get the best of everything, and never complain....

 

I'd tell you my secrete.. but I'm on my 4th marriage.. LOL. Just found one that was somewhat mistreated by a husband - it was all about him, and loves having me be me and treat her fair and with respect.. even when she's wrong.. and boy that last one gets old..