1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10.. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that
I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to
that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites OR Budweiser than
Kay.

 

This is right up my alley. I do in fact right done almost every clever random thought I have... Just in case I need to vent later... here are a couple


-Eating at Taco Bell to lose weight is like drinking vodka to get sober.

-People seem to think the days of the week are arbitrary. I understand that Wednesday may be the end of the work week for you, but calling it "My Friday" isn't going to get the bars crowded or the club jumping. It's still Wednesday.

-Why did we ever think a six-disc CD changer in the trunk of the car was an awesome and convenient invention?
"I brought my favorite CD for the road trip!"
"Great! We'll check it out in an hour or so, after the next **** stop"

-I just recently found out that Hamlet and the Lion King have the same plot. Consider my mind blown...

-If I actually vomited as much as I compain about things making me want to vomit, I'd be my ideal weight







Ok... that's enough, I can't let you into my mind too much, you might get lost.

 

I had this moment about an hour ago.

 

I'm not sure if this is important but...
Every one of my days starts out like that.

roadster with a stick

 

So if you had a thought and forgot the thought and thought it again but didn't remember you thought it the first time you thought it, is it a new thought?

I suffer from random thoughts of insanity...I think

 

Awsome and good reading over a morning cup of coffee. May I add a few...

Why is it that there's an extra small, extra large but no extra medium?

Im teaching myself spanish and cant figure out WHY they have male and female tenses for colors?! I mean really red (male) and red (female) and they say english is hard to learn

How did they know what year it was in BC?

How can a simple dog master the act of unconditional love?

 

Speaking of unconditional love...

Why is it we humans always speak of unconditional love for our lovers but we require wedding vows to get married and divorce when they are broken.

 

You should go to You Got Questions, Ninja Got Answers. | Ask A Ninja and ask that one....

 

A few random thoughts I experienced today...

1.Have you ever noticed when you get in your car the next morning after a night of partying how loud your radio was on your drive home? Does your hearing get worse the more you drink?

2. Why does 65 mph feel so slow after going 100+ mph for a few seconds?

3. Why do people pick their nose at a red light where everyone can see instead of waiting until they pull forward? Your tint is not that dark.

 

Sometimes it is so hard to not look both ways when crossing a one-way street.

 

I'm still trying to figure out why I can't pat myself on the head with one hand and rub my stomach in a circle with the other

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scroll down further

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Or tap one foot and circle the other.

Must be a right brain, left brain thing.......

 

Is it shampoo or real poo?

 

You're 50 years old and you have a 4 year old son?
Cool.
Now you can have a high school graduation party/retirement party at the same time.

 

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. And your email - heaven forbid anyone ever reads that!


2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. ....or you realize that you're arguing with an insane person.....which roughly translates as your significant other.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. Yeah, but now I have an excuse!

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. ....or a STFU font!

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? You cannot. It's like trying to stuff lava back into a volcano. Roll it up into a giant ball & call it a done deal.

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? Nope - haven't used it in decades.

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. True. I've got nothin'.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Yup!

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. Hmmmm, sometime after about year 20, I think.

10.. Bad decisions make good stories. Without good ole dumb-as_ "life experiences" what could you tell your kids that would either entertain them or scare them crapless?

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day. Without fail, sometime after 3:30.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. Think 3D - it'll never end, sigh.....

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that
I swear I did not make any changes to. Save frequently; panic later.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever. Exactly!

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? Bathroom, it's just gotta be.

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. Or detailing the Xfire until it glows & not turning at least one head.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. Caller ID - possibly one of the world's greatest inventions.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to
that? Not that any of my kids ever asked me that (?) but I'd consider myself lucky I hit one!

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Hear, hear!!

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites OR Budweiser than
Kay. Or, in my case, Yukon Jack, yee-ha!!

 

 

No matter how far back you park at a store some jackass thinks it's a good idea to park right next to you.

Yes officer I'm positive I was not going faster than 65 mph. Check the tape my spoiler was not deployed.