Damn spell check

 

I hear you, I have spell check of course and a grammar program, combined they can really lead you astray if you are not careful and you go by what they say, one program just changes words if it thinks it will fit.
Over all the grammar one does a good job and I need all the help I can get there.
Some posts on here are practically impossible to understand with all the spelling and grammar errors, I just ignore those posts.

 

I think the system changes words just for our amusement.

 

Venison for dinner again? Oh, deer!
•How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
•England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
•I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
•They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo
•I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
•Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•I know a guy addicted to brake fluid - he says he can stop any time.
•I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
•This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
•When chemists die, they barium.
•I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down
•I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
•Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't controlher pupils?
•When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
•Broken pencils are pointless.
•What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
•I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
•I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
•Velcro is a big rip off!
•Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

 

~ Anyone know the plot for a new movie shoot called CROSSFIRE HURRICANE? I hear it is going to be a real thriller. Much better than FAST and FURIOUS, so I hear. Some actors even appear in both shows. Don't let the movie titles fool 'ya.

 

yea ! It’s coming Friday.

Lots of those World War 2 spotlights for maximum exposure.

 

It's a shame ppl today aren't making their own historical references to patriotism like the GREATEST GENERATION. The concept of history, and remembering duty, honor, and country, are relegated to a social media 'most popular' trending issue of the day (that would hold not a whimper of a candle to past historical facts honoring individual accomplishments). Remembering things of past that shaped our nation, are but an argument of 'this or that' relegated to the one with the biggest mouth or crowd. Think about it...


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Wrong forum, this should be in General.

 

Is the joke the pot calling the kettle in this case???


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75 years ago it was 20 year olds on a mission to destroy Despotism.

Today, an entirely different mindset of 20 year olds trying to destroy Democracy.




.........this thread is in the right spot.......it’s dark humor. Some might say gallows humor.

 

There is nothing funny in these last statements, and I think it should be removed from the Jokes forum
There is one person who’s replied who lately has picked up on everything I have said. I realize that he has some outstanding medical issues that he has remarked on in the past. I had some of his comments about me removed from another thread and since then he has gone out of his way to take umbrage at anything I say.

 

Be careful when asking an expert his/her opinion on a subject. Remember that "experts" built the Titanic; amateurs built the Ark!

 

This could be awkward.

 

Thanks. I got some mileage out of that.

 

Home schooling has been a complete disaster. So I suggested to my grandson he should work on his rap career.

 

Too funny! More true than fiction!


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Last night I got bored and started looking at member profiles.

Two of you have the same girlfriend.

 

A friend suggested I try putting horse manure on my strawberries.

I'm not doing that again.

Next time whipped cream.

 

...

Enough!

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